The Countdown

Four weeks. You may say long weeks...you may say short weeks. Same difference. Still just four. To be exact, from this moment (8:20pm) I am scheduled to meet these babies in 27 days 12 hours and 10 minutes. Thank you crazy online countdown calendar.

Now, it is everyone's best guess whether or not I will actually make it that far! But at least there is an END to this craziness.

Last week I just thought I was miserable. Who knew what I was in store for?!? HAHA. Yes, that is correct. Cheery, positive me is being challenged once again with every day that goes by. At the end of last week I was physically just overwhelmed, beyond miserable and wondering how in the world I would ever be able to work another day. Ick. Not a great feeling. I rested all weekend long (well at least moderately rested). Decided that this week I would go into work early, leave early and NOT pick up Sam. I have tried that for two days now and it is helping tremendously. Still getting in a work day with energy (mostly!), and then coming home without Sam is allowing me to actually rest. I feel terrible because this means Sam is at school longer, but just an extra hour or two off my feet (or even asleep!) is helping. And once he and Ben get home, I can actually spend a little time with them, which is nice also. So that's the plan for this week at least. It has been two days and so far so good.

Not going to lie, I'm really struggling with how much longer I can physically go to work. Trying to balance this with the knowledge that every day I take off earlier is less time I could potentially have with the twins once they are here at home. What a struggle. The "plan" all along was to try to work until October 28. Which is 2.5 weeks from now and 1.5 weeks from my c-section. But again, I come back to the physical challenge. Don't worry - I am not having problems with the pregnancy. Mild Braxton Hicks here and there but nothing else...really not even swelling. By physical struggles I truly mean that I literally physically can barely MOVE, BREATHE or just FUNCTION at this time. It is a little insane! It is at this point in the twin pregnancy that I wholeheartedly say I would not wish a multiples pregnancy on anyone. ;)

So, the work challenge. This week is working out coming home to rest mid-afternoon. Depending on how I feel as the week ends, I may well decide to have this Friday be the end of the full time work and try to manage working part time from home next week. I hate to say this because it seems like admitting defeat in many ways, but I just want to make sure I'm doing everything possible to protect these babies and keep them growing. And at the same time, I am beginning to wonder physically how I can actually keep going!?! I have 33 (approximate) pounds I'm lugging around my midsection and I'm almost falling over just standing up. Really kind of funny if you think about it.

And again, we have the countdown. Four weeks. Can you really believe it? I have said all along that my first goal was to make it to 24 weeks, then 28. Then 32. At 32 weeks, according to much of what I've read, multiples born now can expect virtually no long-term health complications. They would of course need some definite NICU time to feed and grow, but 32 weeks is that milestone that marks their immune system and organ development and really a healthy outcome. And here we are. Literally from this point, every single day that passes is one less day to worry. One less day in the NICU. One less day of complications. One less day.

And so I will endure. As long as possible. ....I wouldn't be me without a new goal right? So now I'm aiming for 33 weeks. Yes, I'm going for one more week at a time.

Handy dandy computer countdown to c-section now says 27 days, 11 hours, 15 minutes and 30 seconds to go. I got this.