The Briggs & Stratton

Before you worry too much about my sanity, let me explain straight off the crazy title for this post. I have been experiencing some mild Braxton Hicks contractions, and Ben keeps forgetting the name of them....so he refers to them as Briggs & Stratton contractions...rrrrriiiiigggghhhhhtt. :)

It really is a fitting title though. Here we are on the eve of 33 weeks. Made it yet another week and I feel like the "Little Engine That Could." Every day I'm chanting inside, "I think I can, I think I can...." And...I do, so that's good I guess!

What a complete whirlwind the last week or so has been. Friday night I was frustrated to discover that the wonderful twin travel system (complete with 2 car seats, 4 bases and a large double stroller) we were given for free by a family with twins.....was recalled. Lovely. Of course I had to wait until 3 weeks before the twins arrive to realize this...not the ideal time to go hunting for a new double car seat/stroller combo....considering a 10 minute trek in Walmart leaves me breathless and couch-bound... Also not so great on the bank account.

Have to interject here how incredibly blessed we have been during this pregnancy. From diaper showers to encouragement and prayers to packages arriving unexpectedly to meals sent home from coworkers to cards packed with gift cards, we have been truly blessed. Not 30 minutes after realizing we were going to need to spend $350 on two car seats and a stroller, we opened a few gifts and were speechless to discover more than $200 in gift cards! What an answer to prayers we didn't even pray! That is kind of how the whole pregnancy has gone - just people providing the strength, encouragement and support we needed (physical, emotional and financial)! So so thankful to everyone.

Fast forward to Saturday. Ended up at Target with the fam to investigate car seat options. Mom refused to let me walk around so I got to navigate the aisles in the charming beeping motor carts. (Again an engine reference - Briggs & Stratton!) Oh yes, that was me. Big old preggo on a cart, humiliated, and hoping not to see anyone I knew. Walked out of Target a bit poorer but equipped with two perfect car seats for this growing family. Not thrilled that we had to buy them but happy the boys will be safe and we are ready with car seats for them to go in! Stroller is on order from Walmart and should arrive by next Friday.

Another fun weekend with the parents - much less work and just a few things to get done. My dad installed a light in the baby closet (I swear this wasn't even on my list!) and he put up the baby gate too. Mom cleaned my house, finished laundry and just took care of the house stuff that is physically almost impossible for me. Ben tolerated my nesting and moved/organized some boxes without complaining. :) All in all, successful and not too physically difficult weekend.

Then we have the work week. I decided at the end of last week to cut back and only work 7am - Noon this week since I've been steadily having contractions every afternoon and the only thing that helps is laying down for a bit. Well today I worked until 1:15pm and then headed to my doctor's appointment. Not really a break, and BOY I am feeling it now at 8pm. Regardless, I hope to actually stick with the Noon departure this week to avoid much more of those "Briggs & Stratton" rumblings.

VERY eventful doctor's appointment today. My "little engine that could" was feeling less confident than usual going into today. I knew this appointment would be a long one. Start of surveillance, monitoring both babies, full growth ultrasound and appointment with the specialist. I ended up being there for almost 2.5 hours. I always have a small amount of worry inside before they take my blood pressure and in the few moments before we see both babies moving and heartbeats. But today really put me through the ringer.

Arrived to the appointment out of breath, moving slow and feeling tired. Shuffled into the vitals room and was elated to hear that my blood pressure CONTINUES to remain good. 128/70 and I'm avoiding preclampsia, thankfully. Then I was ushered into a new room for the surveillance and monitoring. Never done this part before, and I was really wishing Ben could have been there to calm my nerves and pep talk me through it. ;) I'm a big girl though, and I managed it alone. Not without a serious amount of anxiety....

They hooked me up to the monitors - one for Baby A, one for Baby B, and one for me to measure potential contractions. And off we went. All they had told me at this point was that they try for 20 minutes to get a good reading on these babies. After those 20 minutes, the nurse came back in and that's when the worry started. Baby A was doing great and cooperating exactly how they wanted. Baby B...not so much. Heart rates weren't dropping or anything crazy, but Baby B wasn't demonstrating enough "activity" or increased heart rate for a certain interval of time within the 20 minute window. So began the nurse coming in every 5 minutes checking, tearing off the chart, showing the specialist and coming in again. She tried to wake up Baby B with some kind of acoustic/vibrating tool on my tummy (weird!) and again she kept coming to check. Never really sure what was going on, I was a little less than happy and confident at this point. All this combined with the fact that once I was sitting still for that long and watching the monitors, I realized I was DEFINITELY having contractions. Great. They were just at the very top of my huge belly and didn't hurt, but they definitely were contractions. The nurse commented on that also, but didn't really give any "that's okay" or "that's normal" vibes. All in all, this first time of monitoring process was super stressful. After a full hour they stop the monitoring. Right at the very end I guess Baby B cooperated finally and she said both babies "passed" the test. Um...okay? Then she proceeds to tell me what would have happened if they HADN'T passed. I guess that they use a points system for each baby when monitoring. If they don't get enough points during the monitoring, then you have to go through a specific type of ultrasound that equates to 30 minutes with each baby. If they still don't get enough points that way, then you do not pass the 'test' and have to repeat the entire process the very next day to ensure the babies are active/healthy/etc. Whew. So, my babies passed....but I was still left with a very uneasy and worried mind....is Baby B okay even though it took him so long to pass the test? Are these contractions I suspected but now actually confirmed going to mean #1 No Work or worse...#2 Admittance to the Hospital? Ugh. Worry!!!!!! But of course the only person who can answer these questions is the maternal fetal specialist who I didn't see for another HOUR. That's right...went straight from the monitoring to my growth ultrasound. Different tech than normal and my poor belly and babies were just beat (literally!) by this point from prodding and moving. Ultrasound was pretty painful and just blah. Found out the babies are 9oz different in size, which is much more than last time, so that was yet another concern weighing on my mind.

Fast forward again and I am sitting in the consultation room waiting for the specialist and anxious for what I'm about to hear. And then....he comes in. And he is the most calm, encouraging and no-nonsense doctor ever. He goes through the whole list of things, my concerns, and what they found. And....we're all good...well great actually! Crazy. It was really kind of funny....in a non laughing way...Apparently it is completely normal for the monitoring to take an hour, and sometimes the babies just won't even cooperate or the monitors themselves don't stay on to get a good reading, etc. So actually my babies did really well! I guess that at 33 weeks, the babies aren't necessarily big enough to demonstrate exactly what they want to see on the monitors, so he completely expected what happened and was thrilled that both babies did actually pass the test the first time....basically what I saw as a concern he was happy about. Good grief. I talked to him of course about the contractions. He assured me they were Braxton Hicks and that I'd probably be having lots more of them as we progressed. Well, okay then! No worries there, check. (However I do have to watch it and make sure they don't become painful, very regular and/or progress to lower abdomen and back cramping. I brought up work and he said that there is no reason I cannot continue working - he himself said that every day I can work now is another day I can be home with then, and I'm having NO preterm risks whatsoever. Nothing I'm doing at work is affecting these babies in a bad way. As long as I continue to listen to my body and rest when I need it, I am good to go for the duration. Whew. So my plan remains to finish this week 7am - Noon and re-evaluate for next week. Hoping still to make it until October 28 at work if I physically can! Shocked that the doc was so encouraging with work. That conversation actually led to a labor discussion. The doctor, on his own, said that I am almost to the point where they wouldn't stop my labor if I did actually start...I supposed that 34 weeks is that milestone. Then he proceeded to tell me that since I got the lung steroid shots two weeks ago he doubts they will stop labor even if I went now!!!! GEEZ!!!! He literally said that he doesn't have concerns for these babies - they are healthy and will be fine if born now. (Granted, they would still need NICU time, but he is very happy with their developmental maturity at this point).

Sorry to keep you waiting for the best news at all....these babies are both over 4 pounds! Can you even believe it???? Yes, I have almost 9 pounds of baby in me right now. Considering Sam was born at 39 weeks weighing 5lb 10oz, these are big babies!!! Baby A is 4lb 2oz and Baby B is 4lb 11oz. The doctor said some of that difference in size (that I was of course worried about when the ultrasound tech told me) is ultrasound error and they are around 10% different in weight - anything under 20% difference they consider nomal and healthy. So we are good!!! AND BIG. YAAAAHOOOO!

So I walked out of the doctors office after more than two hours of stress with a huge weight lifted and elated that these babies are over 4 pounds each. Scheduled the remainder of ALL my appointments in the next three weeks and breathed another sigh of relief. I will probably not have another growth ultrasound before the babies are born so this is the last marker we will have about how big they will be when born. They have grown about a pound each in the last month, so we can expect them (if I make it to November 8) to be just under or around 5 pounds probably. That is AMAZING! Again, my original goal this whole pregnancy was hoping for babies that were 4 pounds. I am so happy!!!!!!!

What a complete rollercoaster of emotions today. And so...here we are. 33 Weeks. Chugging right along. And the little engine that could....can. And will. Another day down. Just a little more weight to pull and a little more slowly. But soon on the other side I will be saying, I thought I could...and did. Looking forward to that day.

The Countdown

Four weeks. You may say long weeks...you may say short weeks. Same difference. Still just four. To be exact, from this moment (8:20pm) I am scheduled to meet these babies in 27 days 12 hours and 10 minutes. Thank you crazy online countdown calendar.

Now, it is everyone's best guess whether or not I will actually make it that far! But at least there is an END to this craziness.

Last week I just thought I was miserable. Who knew what I was in store for?!? HAHA. Yes, that is correct. Cheery, positive me is being challenged once again with every day that goes by. At the end of last week I was physically just overwhelmed, beyond miserable and wondering how in the world I would ever be able to work another day. Ick. Not a great feeling. I rested all weekend long (well at least moderately rested). Decided that this week I would go into work early, leave early and NOT pick up Sam. I have tried that for two days now and it is helping tremendously. Still getting in a work day with energy (mostly!), and then coming home without Sam is allowing me to actually rest. I feel terrible because this means Sam is at school longer, but just an extra hour or two off my feet (or even asleep!) is helping. And once he and Ben get home, I can actually spend a little time with them, which is nice also. So that's the plan for this week at least. It has been two days and so far so good.

Not going to lie, I'm really struggling with how much longer I can physically go to work. Trying to balance this with the knowledge that every day I take off earlier is less time I could potentially have with the twins once they are here at home. What a struggle. The "plan" all along was to try to work until October 28. Which is 2.5 weeks from now and 1.5 weeks from my c-section. But again, I come back to the physical challenge. Don't worry - I am not having problems with the pregnancy. Mild Braxton Hicks here and there but nothing else...really not even swelling. By physical struggles I truly mean that I literally physically can barely MOVE, BREATHE or just FUNCTION at this time. It is a little insane! It is at this point in the twin pregnancy that I wholeheartedly say I would not wish a multiples pregnancy on anyone. ;)

So, the work challenge. This week is working out coming home to rest mid-afternoon. Depending on how I feel as the week ends, I may well decide to have this Friday be the end of the full time work and try to manage working part time from home next week. I hate to say this because it seems like admitting defeat in many ways, but I just want to make sure I'm doing everything possible to protect these babies and keep them growing. And at the same time, I am beginning to wonder physically how I can actually keep going!?! I have 33 (approximate) pounds I'm lugging around my midsection and I'm almost falling over just standing up. Really kind of funny if you think about it.

And again, we have the countdown. Four weeks. Can you really believe it? I have said all along that my first goal was to make it to 24 weeks, then 28. Then 32. At 32 weeks, according to much of what I've read, multiples born now can expect virtually no long-term health complications. They would of course need some definite NICU time to feed and grow, but 32 weeks is that milestone that marks their immune system and organ development and really a healthy outcome. And here we are. Literally from this point, every single day that passes is one less day to worry. One less day in the NICU. One less day of complications. One less day.

And so I will endure. As long as possible. ....I wouldn't be me without a new goal right? So now I'm aiming for 33 weeks. Yes, I'm going for one more week at a time.

Handy dandy computer countdown to c-section now says 27 days, 11 hours, 15 minutes and 30 seconds to go. I got this.

The Weakness

This last week I have been truthfully pretty miserable. Physically I can barely walk across the room without feeling like the babies are going to drop right out of me (TMI maybe? Really it is just because as soon as I stand I have to pee immediately!) and no matter what I do (sit, stand, lay down) I am constantly out of breath. Ick. Just feeling the effects of being at the end, and it is FINE. It is just pretty miserable. :) Like the morning sickness, I truly believe that this is the part of pregnancy that the glowing new mom haze makes you forget...three years after having my son, and I somehow forgot what the end was really like. Only this time I get to experience it for several more weeks than normal. Yipee!!

Over the weekend I struggled with feeling real weakness. I had to forgo a family day out at Pumpkin Daze because I literally just could not walk around for 2 hours. Ben took Sam and met up with his entire family, and I stayed behind. Thankfully my parents were in town and we did some fun baby prep stuff, but still, all weekend I felt like I was missing out, missing memories, just missing life. Added to that is the guilt of everyone bending over backwards to help me. I appreciate it all so much, but I just feel so awful that my house was a disaster when my parents got here and I have to rely on everyone else to do the most basic things. I can't just run to the grocery store. I can't aimlessly wander around Target looking for good baby loot. I just can't. It is hard. And I know I need to get used to it, because there is only lots more to come as the pregnancy progresses and afterwards in those weeks after the twins are born when I will be holed up in my house for their health and my recovery.

Then Sunday's message at church really hit home. I am so used to being this superwoman who tackles every project, completes every task (early!), maintains a nonstop level of productivity that is exhausting, etc. I do not like being weak. I do not like asking for help. I do not like needing help, period. This entire pregnancy, I feel like God has really gotten my attention, and even humbled me a bit. Taken me a few notches down. I can't say, "This pregnancy isn't going to change my life" or "I still have to keep doing everything I was doing" or even "I want to do this so I'm going to." I have had to just STOP. It is so unlike me, and very...difficult. Even worse than feeling weak inside, this pregnancy, as it has progressed, has forced me to almost embrace the weakness and put it out there for everyone to see. It is something very new for me. I'm not saying I like it! But I do think it has been a rewarding journey and even a good lesson for me. I would say that I am a strong person, but I think God wants me to notice the fact that sometimes I don't let HIM be the strong one. Giving up control and embracing this weakness has just completely turned my world upside down. I love the verse Pastor Randy used in the sermon, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9). And I don't think I will ever hear it again without being reminded of this season in my life, where I am so completely out of control of things. And in that lack of control and my daily weaknesses being so apparent, it seems that God has truly shown His power and grace. These babies are doing awesome and we are so so SO close!

This "lesson" was tested even further today by my doctors appointments. The theme of the whole afternoon was, "Be prepared for everything to change." I am 31 weeks along and saw the OBGYN, maternal fetal specialist and had an ultrasound all this afternoon. As usual (THANKFULLY), the babies are doing wonderful. First saw my OB. Measuring full term as expected and got my steroid shot to help boost babies' lung development. I talked to him about my breathing concerns and he laughed and said that I didn't have much torso when I wasn't pregnant! Fortunately, my blood pressure continues to be excellent (120/80) so they aren't concerned with the difficulty breathing. Just an unfortunate byproduct of the end stage. I talked with him about my plan to keep working for 4 more weeks and he just simply said, "Yes. And we'll see how things go. It could change and we just need to expect that things are going to be up in the air for the remainder of this pregnancy." Well, great! What Type A person wants to hear that????? After that appointment I had my ultrasound. Fluid measuring good and no evidence of twin issues, thankfully (again). Saw the specialist and we chatted about how great things were going, still my lack of swelling (yay!) and the tentative plan for the next few weeks as far as appointments and whatnot. Then, another bombshell. Okay, not really a bombshell, but still an adjustment. He says to me that even though my OB scheduled my c-section for 38 weeks and the week of Thanksgiving (which by the way I had just gotten used to), he has decided he doesn't want me to wait that long. He explained that after 36 weeks, the serious risk of stillbirth with these type of identical twins goes up exponentially and it makes it more harmful to keep the pregnancy going than it is to deliver at 36 and deal with the small risk of prematurity. Okay...so he says he is going to ask my OB to reschedule my c-section date closer to 36 weeks. Well...geez people! Again at the end of my appointment, another comment, from the specialist this time, things are just going to be out of our control at this point in your pregnancy. It will likely change from week to week and even day to day. Well....okay then.

So, here goes 5 more weeks (not 7) of weakness. I got a jump start on that tonight by giving in and making cookies. Been wanting to do it for days but have held off so I can keep my weight gain at a reasonable pace. But tonight I couldn't resist. Another type of weakness perhaps, but at least I'm admitting it! Yummy snickerdoodles, only after a feast of homemade meatloaf, mashed potatoes with gravy and asparagus. Delicious! Tomorrow I am sending Ben to work with a whole bag of his favorite cookies so that particular weakness of mine can be squelched for the rest of the week. ;)

Not going to lie, the next 4 weeks of work and then the following week (or so!) of waiting for these babies is going to eventually have me screaming my weaknesses from the rooftops. Won't that be fun! No pushing through just to say I did. No feeling incredibly guilty because others are doing things that I should be doing. No doing things to prove I am not weak. No keeping my mouth shut and not asking for help. Nope. Thank you, God. Lesson learned. I am only strong because of You. And I have zero control. Embracing the weakness here....or at least really really trying. Thank YOU for helping me keep on keeping on. I couldn't do it alone, that's for sure.

The Nap

It is amazing what an afternoon nap can do for this preggo momma.
I've been pretty sick for the last two days fighting this sinus infection...well sick since Friday but the worst of it in the last 48 hours. I made it to work Monday morning but left soon after I got my antiobiotic prescription and the official diagnosis more than just a bad cold. I came home foggy-headed and completely crashed. Took a 3 hour nap, which for me is rare. Woke up better but not great. Made it through the night pretty well and stayed home from work again today, at the request...okay more like demand...of my boss. :) Took another nap today and woke up this afternoon feeling so much better. Thank God.
I was really worried the past few days because the babies did not like me blowing my nose or sneezing all the time. :( Seems so insignificant, but at this stage in pregnancy when I'm trying NOT to go into labor it was just scary. My stomach was so tight and babies were protesting. I just keep praying, please no contractions! Monday I had some mild crampiness and felt so uncomfortable. Ugh. The naps have helped tremendously, and today the babies are moving around like crazy, my stomach is relaxed, and a full 24 hours of antibiotics in me have cleared out my head significantly. Whew. Hopefully we have made it through this hurdle.
I haven't worked out since Friday morning, which for me is a significant sign I'm not doing well. This morning I resumed my 15 minutes of yoga, and I weighed myself...here to report that at 30 weeks today I have gained exactly 30 pounds. Holy cow. I mean....not "cow" right? :) I will say that I am pleased with this. Mostly because my belly is measuring full term, and when I was that size with Sam I had gained 50 pounds! So I'm as "big" as I was with Sam but 20 pounds lighter...which really just means less swelling and that much more "baby" weight I can gain in the next 8 weeks, right?
So...back to the nap. I am excited to realize that napping is something I actually enjoy now. Maybe it is the daily exhaustion of just "being" this pregnant...perpetually 9 months. Who knows. But this is good. I have found that whether I close my eyes for 20 minutes or 3 hours, I am feeling rested when I get up. I got so frustrated when I was home with Sam in those delirious newborn days because I felt like if I didn't get deep sleep for at least 2 hours after every feeding I wasn't able to function. With twins I know sleep is going to be one of those things that is just elusive. And I know there is no way to prepare for it...and certainly no chance at getting a solid 2 hours of deep sleep at a time. So it has been encouraging to see how my body has adapted to the idea of naps, finally!!! I know that 20 minutes here or there doesn't really make up for deep sleep, but at least I'm not getting frustrated by it. I will need to treasure those 20 minutes in between baby feedings and whatnot here in just a short time, and I am just relieved to finally be a napper!
Can you believe that I am going to be home with newborn twins within 2 months!!!??? Still a little surreal. Welcome to a world of no sleeping and small naps....yay!

The Sickie

Booooo....that is what you will hear around my house this weekend... I've been fighting off a bad head cold/sinus infection for more than a week and Friday it finally got the best of me.

The last few weeks have just been rough. I should have known when I posted my "done" exclamation and looked forward to resting and not having to do much for the next few months, that something would come up. :)

My sister, who lives with us, was pretty sick for a week or so. She did a good job hibernating in the basement and cleaning up after herself, but there's only so much you can do to protect yourself from cold and sinus ickies when it is in your house. Lesson learned multiple times over in the last 3 years with a young child. Stuff just gets shared no matter how hard we try to avoid it. With April out of commission, I jumped back in to help Ben with life. He has been going, going, going every second we are home until I go to sleep really. He is such a trooper. So I've been doing less resting and more doing lately just because of life. Not a huge deal, but that additional effort taking care of my household combined with not sleeping great lately led to the inevitable weakened immunity, I am certain.

I've had a scratchy throat and runny nose for a week and thought I was avoiding succumbing to it all. I actually joked with my dad Thursday night that now April was feeling better so someone else was going to get sick because she was working all weekend and I couldn't possibly catch a break! Lo and behold, Ben woke up sick to his stomach this Friday morning and ended up coming home from work early. Then Friday afternoon I started feeling really crummy. The mild annoyance of an 'almost-cold' turned into a full fledged foggy-brained cold & sinus issue. Ben was asleep recovering so I asked April if she'd go with me to the grocery store to stock up on food for the weekend and some much-needed pregnancy safe meds to hopefully ward off anything too serious. We got home close to 6pm, and I knew I was done for.

Slept on the couch to avoid sickie Ben and awoke Saturday feeling worse. What joy! It is seriously inevitable in my life that I only get sick if & when someone else in my family is sick....leading to me pushing through and nursing everyone else back to health. Unfortunately, this time, in my very pregnant state, I have had to back off from my normal "push through" methods. Put in a movie Saturday morning and let Sam veg out while I tried to clear my head, literally. Blah. Thankfully Ben was feeling some better (he always recovers quickly, thankfully!) and was able to jump back in to help again.

Now normally a cold wouldn't bother or worry me, but a week before I had Sam, I had a very bad cold, ended up with a high fever, went to the ER....long story, but I was dehydrated and when I went into labor with Sam a few days later he was in distress due in some part to my health....so this time, I am beyond paranoid with being sick. I know all I can do is take care of myself the best I can and rest! Which is what I have been doing all weekend. Just worrisome of course. I was doing pretty well yesterday and then again later last night started feeling really badly again. Very rough night. At least once an hour I woke up blowing my nose for what seemed like an eternity and my stomach was very tight. Babies were protesting! I starting thinking, "geez, this is more of an ab workout than I've had in months!" So needless to say, I started getting worried even more that this silly cold would cause some baby/pregnancy issue.

Don't worry those of you concerned - I am still peeing every 30 minutes, so I know my added OJ, gatorade and water intake are warding off the dehydration, thank you very much. And this forced weekend of rest is probably good for me regardless.

Ben and Sam went to church without me today and I sanitized the kitchen, washed my hands thoroughly and made the best homemade chicken and dumplings ever! YUM. It was a perfect lunch to help get the sickness out the door. The warm, fresh from the oven strawberry shortcake for dessert didn't hurt too much either. ;)

Going to see my primary care doctor tomorrow just to make sure I don't need antibiotics or something, but pretty sure he will agree it is just a bad virus. Yippee. Please, babies, hang in there with me. We will get through this and have at least 6-8 more weeks of nice baking left. No contractions, no labor. That's my mantra.

At least I have lots more leftover chicken and dumplings, right? Positivity, remember. :)

The Date

It is with a smile and unbelievable shake of my head that I announce the final date. Yes, you guessed it. At my OB doctor's appointment this week they scheduled my c-section, should these babies not decide to come earlier on their own. And, drumroll please....the date is November 22. Yes, you guessed it again. Two days before Thanksgiving. Really???? I laughed at the doctor when he told me the date....and the fact that it is 38 weeks, not 36.

This whole pregnancy, the specialist and my OB have told me they don't want me to go past 36 weeks due to twin issues. But now that I'm at 29 weeks and doing beyond fantastic they are now changing their tune and want me to make it as long as possible. Blessing...right?

Two days of appointments so far this week and both were just phenomenal reports. Yesterday my ultrasound showed one baby 2lb 10oz and the other 2lb 11oz. They are within 4% of each other in growth, fluid looks great, and they are right around the 50% percentile for twins this far along. Overall amazing. It actually is getting better every week. The specialist just remarked that he keeps expecting something to show up and frankly, it's just not. At this far along, I'm doing so well they almost don't even know what to say because most people have some kind of problem. He actually postponed my baby lung development steroid shot series until my next appointment at 31 weeks because "these babies just aren't going anywhere." Good news! He seemed to think that it will be smooth sailing from here on out, judging by baby growth and many items on their "list" they check every ultrasound. Not a guarantee of course, but reassuring nonetheless.

Then today the first sentence out of my OB doctor's mouth was, "Saw your ultrasound from yesterday and your babies are doing awesome!" Good to hear. :) Heard both heartbeats, measured my belly (showing full term by the way) and then the c-section discussion. Honestly, I just couldn't believe it when he said 38 weeks. My jaw literally dropped. I was expecting the second week of November. Not the week of Thanksgiving!!

Thoughts running through my mind: #1 - I am thrilled that the doctors think these babies are doing so great that they think we can all realistically breathe a bit more and plan for a longer "cooking" time for them which is only going to benefit them that much more. #2 - I'm not so much thrilled with the prospect of being pregnant for 9 more weeks (rather than 7 which is what my end/goal date has been so far). #3 - If I make it that far, I am so going to be in the hospital on Thanksgiving Day. BOO. Yes, for sure, this will be a blessing and a huge thing to "give thanks" for, I realize this. And yes, if I really do make it that far these babies are going to be big and healthy with probably no NICU time and will be able to go home from the hospital with us - Yay what an amazing miracle that will be! But still...hospital on Thanksgiving. Who wants that? The positive side to this is that family will not have to take off as much work, etc. All good things!

So who knows! Will I make it that far? Everyone's best guess I suppose. The doctors seem to certainly think so. I went into labor 6 days early with Sam so there is always the possibility I will end up going into labor earlier and have to have the c-section early. But although selfishly that would be nice so I don't have to be pregnant so long, I'm not hoping for earlier. I am praying, as I have since the beginning, for healthy babies. :) And if that means surgery November 22 at noon and not a second before...along with a multiple day hospital stay recovering and a fun Thanksgiving celebration in my private hospital room, so be it. :)

Still single digit weeks right? Staying positive.

The Last

I think I should try to write these blog posts at 9am, when I'm fed, full, chipper and ready to take the on the world. ;) Here I am crashing at 8pm on Friday after a full work week and I'm beat, yet again! Alas, many things to celebrate regardless: We are officially at the end. Third trimester. Last, final home stretch. Everybody cheer with me!!!

I made it to 28 weeks and then blew right by it. now here we are at the end of the week and only a little more than 7 weeks to go. Geez, this time is flying by!

Super excited to have made it to my second big goal of 28 weeks. (First goal was 24 weeks). Now I'm planning and praying to make it to 32 weeks! Only a little over 3 to go now.

This week was busy and honestly, pretty rough. I failed my glucose challenge 1 hour test last week (indicator of gestational diabetes risk) and had to do the 3 hour fasting glucose tolerance test Monday morning. Ugh. I am SO not ever wanting to go through that again. Fasting was not fun. I had some yogurt at 9pm Sunday night and then didn't get to eat again until 11am Monday. Blah. I was so starving and it has made my blood sugar and appetite just messed up all week. So fortunately I was able to arrange to take the glucose test at my work instead of spending 4 hours in the waiting room at St. John's. Unfortunately, I just do not have a great track record of repeated blood draws. My veins aren't close to the surface and without a significant amount of water that day to prep, I tend to be a very hard stick. (Horrifying memories here of my IV sticks and miserable blood draws while in the hospital with Sam...uhhhh...I shudder to think about going through that again). Back to Monday: Hard to drink enough water to hydrate my veins (or whatever you call it) by 7:30am. So sure enough, hard stick. They got the first baseline draw fine, but the consecutive sticks were increasingly difficult. So much so that one time there was some painful digging (accompanied by nausea and feeling faint). They put a fan on me and gave me some water. Whew. No fun. Turns out they had to try my veins on the top of my hand to get the next two sticks and OUCH that hurts a lot. Many bruises in my vein tracks this week showing the battle. Added to this the fact that the glucose solution they have you drink made me incredibly sick. On an empty stomach and I'm not used to drinking anything sugary period. I'm a water girl, through and through. So drinking pure sugar syrup was DISGUSTING. And you cannot throw up or they have to stop the test and have you repeat it another day. UGH! But good thing I was at work - spent some time chatting with coworkers about upcoming projects and the morning passed as quickly as possible. Waited...and waited...and waited some more. And then I got the all clear finally yesterday afternoon. No gestational diabetes for me! YAHOO!!!!

Another hurdle down! Of course in place of that worry this week, I've started to have heartburn. :( Boo. With Sam I had it the last week or two of pregnancy. Really hoping this doesn't last for all 7 weeks I have left!!!!

Most fun part of being in the home stretch is the baby shower fun! Have to say I was leery of baby showers with this being my second pregnancy. I'm not a huge fan of "fanfare" specifically directed toward me. With your first baby it is all new and a shower is part of that. But I actually told friends and family this time I didn't even want a shower really because I thought it might be inappropriate being my second pregnancy. Of course then those same family and friends started telling me about how many people were asking them what they could do for these twins and asking me to do a shower so they could enjoy the fun together! Have to say - I just feel so incredibly blessed. My work shower was on Tuesday, and it was so nice. They did a diaper shower for me and I got some MUCH needed diapers, wipes and gift cards, along with some blankets and baby supplies...and the craziest, biggest, coolest diaper cake ever made! It was sweet to see everyone so excited about the twins! Made me realize how rare this is, to celebrate with other people who are equally excited....way more than even a first baby or singleton pregnancy! So so neat. :)

And I have another fun shower to look forward to Sunday with my church family and friends. The shower invitation topped my vote for the most creative and cutest theme ever. :) Love it!

So as I head to bed at 10pm on this Friday night I'm wondering how many Friday nights I have left to sit here and type without the newborns here. Wondering how many weeks I'll be able to "happily" report good news. Have more doctors appointments Monday and Tuesday this coming week, and I'm looking forward to more positive news and moving right along. Before I know it, I'll be announcing a 30 week mark and then the "last" becomes the "end" I think. ;)

One of the managers at the hospital confided to me this week that she loved being pregnant with her children both times so much that she would even consider surrogacy if her husband would approve. Good grief! I laughed and just said, "That's NOT me." While I am (still) remaining positive, I definitely am embracing that the "last" trimester also means the last pregnancy for this momma! Last weight gain during. Last weight loss challenge post baby(ies). Last heartburn. Last hormone mood swings....well pregnancy-related at least! Last tossing and turning uncomfortably at night fruitlessly trying to get some sleep. Last peeing every 30 minutes. Last huffing and puffing down the hallway. Last struggle to change the laundry or pick something up on the floor. Last stopping before I pick up my child and swing him around gleefully because I no longer can.

And yes, Last precious few weeks feeling these babies move and grow inside of me. Will I miss it? Maybe for a split second. But I know I wouldn't miss meeting these babies on their "birth" day for anything in the world. Worth every second and as long as it takes of the slightly less than pleasant lasts...