The Numbers

It's a new year and I figured I'd shake things up with a different perspective on my twin mommy life. In reality everything can be broken up in a logical way numerically....

1 - Gallons I pump on a good day. Yup, that's right - I am getting nearly 64 oz of milk out of these 'girls' every single day. Whoa. Never in a million years thought I would still be breastfeeding at this point. I've gone twice as long as I did with Sam (yay!) and we've settled into a fairly manageable routine of feeding, pumping...and repeating that process all day and night without too much pain, agony or misery. I'm finally producing enough to even freeze extras on rare occasions, and I'm doing one nighttime feeding of formula every day so that the babies stay used to the consistency since they will likely get a few feedings of formula at daycare through the week. Still, I cannot say I love it. Or even like it. The babies refuse to nurse and by this point it is just easier to keep pumping and doing bottles since they are still getting the good stuff either way. Supposedly my chest size is going to even out and return to normal about now...ummmm...not happening so much. Depressing since I gained several sizes after having Sam, even despite losing weight. Really REALLY hoping I don't continue to gain in size. Yikes. I may tip over!! Just Kidding. I tried on a bunch of clothes, knowing they would easily cover my stomach and shockingly they do not even remotely fit over my chest. Who would have thought that would be my issue with weight/size this time around? Not me. Ah well. Babies get the good stuff and I have the cup size some women dream about...unless they have it already and then they PRAY TO GOD it goes away!

2 - Weeks until I go back to work. Cannot believe my maternity leave is almost over!!! Spending this precious time with the twins has been wonderful. Not always easy....okay, not EVER easy. But still pretty wonderful. I am so grateful to my work for letting me take the time without hesitation and with encouragement. I'm so thankful that it took long enough for me to get pregnant this time around that I actually had enough paid time off to keep receiving a paycheck for the entire 12 weeks. And I'm beyond blessed for having so many moments with the twins I will never forget in these crazy first 3 months of 'twinfancy.'

3 - Times my water bill has increased. No joke. Started pre-twins with $50ish a month. Now it is up to $175. Yikes. Thank you billions of loads of laundry and dishes. Nuff said.

4 - Times I have to give out acid reflux medication in a day. Unfortunately, at about 7 weeks old, both babies started to have some signs of reflux, including crying hysterically in pain after eating, spitting up abnormally and waking up early out of a sound nap crying out in pain and drawing up their legs or arching their backs. No good. Doc diagnosed reflux and the medicine has been slowly helping.

5 - Number of people in our family now with the added kiddos I have now. Whew. T.I.R.E.D. Sam has decided after almost 4 years of sleeping 12 hours solid at night to wake up every day about 5 or 5:30am and ask us if it is morning yet. BLAH. Granted, this is just about the time I have made my way back into bed after a baby feeding, so I'm sure he is stirred awake by baby noises and me wandering around the house, but still. No fun. But, alas, we are now a family of 5.

6 - Number of hours the babies can now go without eating! Now this is a huge milestone. We wake them up every 3 hours to feed them during the day, but in the last week or so (really since Christmas) the twins are actually making it from a 7pm feeding until about 12:30am or so before needing to eat! HALLELUJAH. It will only get better from here. (And yes, I am chanting this over and over in my head). This is the only time of the day they will stretch this long. Normally after about midnight they still wake up every 3-4 hours. But at least there is now one longer stretch. I get asked all the time when they should start sleeping more, and this is what I know: Sam slept through the night at exactly 12 weeks. We had him on a "sleep training" plan from Day One where we fed every 2-3 hours and did the eating, waketime and sleep cycle all day long. He slowly stretched the time between feedings and eventually went to 4am, then 5am, then 6am and soon we were waking HIM up in the morning. BLISS. With the twins, I expect something similar because we are doing the same eat/wake/sleep cycle. BUT...and this is a big BUT....with premature babies, you basically have to add in the weeks they shouldn't have been born to when they do things. So if we can expect it at 12 weeks or so...we have to add 6 weeks to that since they were born 6 weeks early. So, alas, I am hoping (and praying!) that by 18 weeks old they will finally be sleeping at least 8 hours a night. Please. God. Others with twins say it take 6 months or so. It is harder with two babies...because if one wakes up they can wake the other. And if one wakes up, we wake the other up to keep them eating at the same time so they are sleeping at the same time, hungry at the same time, etc. In our case usually it is Toby who wakes up hungry but Gabe is a great sleeper. So sometimes I wonder how much longer Gabe would have kept sleeping if Toby hadn't woken up and needed to eat. We'll see soon enough. Or maybe not SOON. But soon in the scheme of things I suppose.

7 - Time in the morning we do our first feeding and officially start our day...soon to be moved up or we won't make it to work on time! 7 is also the number of times the babies eat each day since they just started cutting out one nighttime feeding...stretching to 12:30am instead of one at 10pm and then another at 1am. OH, and 7 is also the amount of maximum hours of sleep I can get now! I am getting about 5-6 uninterrupted and a few more here and there between feedings. This is a HUGE improvement over the 3-4 hours of sleep I was getting a night just a few short weeks ago. It already seems like time is flying by. YAY!

8 - Times a day I pump, pump, pump. Oh joy. The twins have cut a nighttime feeding out so I have one less time of pumping while I feed them. In order to keep up my supply, I've added a pumping session before I go to bed each night after the babies (and Sam!) are asleep. This is the one 30 minutes of the day that Ben is exclusively on kid-duty if they cry out or need something. I'm hooked up and unable to move so I enjoy a little TV action. My favorites: Toddlers & Tiaras, Kourtney & Kim take New York, Say Yes to the Dress or Cupcake Wars. OH, or Teen Mom 2. Yes, that's right. Mindless, frivolous TV trash often times. My guilty vice.

9 - Time of day I aim to be in bed by nightly. This hardly ever happens. But 9pm is my goal. If I can do it routinely, especially when I go back to work here in a matter of days, I will be able to consistently get 6 hours of sleep AND have enough time in the morning to work out, do a load of laundry, wash the baby dishes, shower and change before dealing with babies and getting out the door. Envious? HAHAHA.

10 - The time Ben crashes on the couch in the living room. Since they used to wake up at 10pm to eat, he didn't go to sleep until after that. Now, he tried to get a few winks before they wake up about midnight and then goes back to sleep for the rest of the night. AND, superstar dad and hubby he is, he stays in the living room with the monitors for the kiddos so I can get very solid sleep without hearing baby cries or anything. What a guy!

So I've counted to 10 and there are still some notable numbers to mention. Times we have to put back in pacifiers or pick up and calm down crying babies every evening? COUNTLESS. Seriously. From 5pm to 9pm no one wants to be at our house, apparently even babies! They are super fussy, just want to be held, too tired and too hungry or not tired and not hungry. It is not a fun time. Dinnertime and Bedtime are pure chaos. We are making sure Sam gets some play time each night, which has contributed in large part to his well-adjusted and happy-with-babies attitude I am sure. But as a result, I handle the dinner prep, baby meds & feeding and baby bedtime solo until Ben gets Sam a bath and into bed. It is a whirlwind of crying and juggling each night and I lose track of how many times we try to console babies during this time. Thank you APRIL for helping relieve some very overwhelming parents when you are home during this craziness.

Some other numbers? 14 - Number of bottles we go through each day. 16 - Number of diapers we go through on a GOOD day. Not a blowout or super stinky day. A small pack is 30 diapers...so you can see that lasts us about 2 days!!!! (Interject here that I've decided to stick with disposable diapers much to the shock and horror of many cloth diapering mommies I am sure but I just CANNOT handle one additional thing to add to my day. If I had to choose between pumping and cloth diapers, I choose pumping. Plus, we got enough diapers at showers that I won't even have to think about purchasing them for months...or longer. We have TONS).

And finally, the number that hangs over my head, keeps me awake at night and is my biggest frustration with twin parenthood. The daycare bill. In two weeks I will officially be paying a ridiculous amount for childcare. I believe it is worth it, and I love their school. Ben and I have jobs we cannot leave for various reasons, financially and otherwise. We've crunched every number to see if we could do it another way, and we still believe this is the best choice for our family for all those reasons and more. The teachers in the infant class are amazing, and Sam cannot wait to have his brothers join him at school. But still. The number. $1,200 a month. For part time. Kill. Me. Now.

HAHAHA. So instead of organizing my life into a series of numbers and Type-A coping mechanisms (SERIOUSLY), I will instead be happy for the things I cannot count. Watching Sam be the best big brother I could have asked for...Smelling that awesome baby smell after a double dose of baths...Cuddling with two wiggling monkeys and seeing four beautiful brownish-grayish-greenish eyes stare back at me....moments to precious to count.