The Escape

I can't wait. That's kind of my thought every day as I'm living like a hermit in my humble abode thinking about the next time I will be able to leave. I cannot WAIT to escape! Before you start thinking I'm a heartless mommy, I really would be even happier to leave WITH my whole family, babies included. But alas, me and the newbies are staying cozy inside hibernating while the rest of the world goes through the hustle and bustle of Christmastime.

It has been a truly strange holiday season. In some ways, it has been nice not to get too caught up in the presents and shopping and materialistic stuff. I'm inside most days...well who am I kidding...all day every day....looking at my lit tree and humming to the familiar tunes on the radio so I'm no stranger to knowing Christmas is almost upon us. I rarely see anyone else, much less have to deal with the holiday stress. Overall, it has been a welcome change. But very strange. I feel like Halloween was the start...then sleepless night after bleary day flew past...then Thanksgiving! And now, here we are, a week before Christmas and I just cannot believe it has been almost two months since my little ones made their surprise arrival! It just doesn't seem like Christmas.

I'm sure many of you think we are crazy for not taking the babies anywhere for so long. Seriously though, we are under strict instructions by both our pediatrician and a home health nurse not to take them out in public until after this fall/winter season is over. Yikes. Basically, the little guys are at serious risk for RSV due to prematurity and multiple birth. It just so happens that if they'd been born at any other time, we might not have to worry so much, but since they made their debut pretty much exactly at the worst possible "sick" time of year, we are on ultra alert to prevent this scary infection. I guess that in premature babies, RSV is the single biggest concern, the cause of rehospitalization, and in rare cases even fatalities. Preemies just don't have the lung strength that full term babies have. The twins qualify for a $1,200 a pop (no joke) treatment/medication called Synagis that helps prevent RSV. It is a series of shots they get during the risk season. The week after Christmas they will have had three doses, and we plan to start taking them to church in January and to daycare just a few short weeks after that since I have to go back to work and we have no other option...I guess that with RSV, it really isn't better to "expose" them to the germs and build up their immunity. It is very scary stuff to deal with. So we will continue to be the weird parents who are sheltering their newborns. ;)

Honestly, it wouldn't be that big of deal if we knew that everywhere we went people wouldn't bend over them, breathe on them, touch them, etc. I get that people just want to smother and kiss on babies, but for REAL. Germs, people!!??!! Yup, I am that mom. The germophobe. I know it. It's a thousand times worse this go around though. We have sanitizer in every room of the house. We ask visitors to take off their shoes when they come in, and we change Sam's clothes and wash his hands every time he comes in the door from school each day. All in all, we are just trying to do the best we can to prevent illness. Because, really, who wants two sick babies? NOT US.

So back to the escape. ;) I wish I could get out with these babies, but since I cannot, who would blame me for wanting to break free for just a bit during the week. Unfortunately, it's winter, so it has been cold and yucky. Not even good weather for a walk outside. Really am stuck. I am just not made for this. I wouldn't call myself a social butterfly by any means, and I'll stay inside on the couch under a blanket for hours reading a good book, but I think it's the idea of not being ABLE to get away that just wears on me. GOD BLESS my wonderful husband for recognizing the "crazy" in my eyes every so often and giving me the nod to get out after he's had a long day at work and hasn't had a moment to stop himself. Pretty much the only time I go is for 20 minutes on Wednesdays to take Sam to church, about 45 minutes to race to Walmart once a week for the grocery run and usually about an hour or so sometime each weekend to run an errand. All alone, but still, it's good. A breather. I can't be gone too long because I have to pump and just like any other breastfeeding mama, I gotta get back because I feel like I'm going to explode any minute. ;) But the chance to drive away, resting easy because the babies are being loved and cared for and getting that small break, has really helped my sanity.

And even better, when I'm gone to pick up my paycheck every other Friday from work, or any other time I walk in the door after my brief escape, I simply cannot wait to pick up my kiddos and kiss them, hug them, squeeze them and cuddle (after changing my clothes and washing my hands of course). :)

I know I've mentioned this in previous posts, but I've turned into the maid and super-wifey who has dinner on the table when hubs comes in the door....so my days seem to run together in an endless round of babies, housework, more babies, more housework...and then more stuff around the house, in the house...never away from the house!!!!!! HAHA. I was updating the calendar we keep on our fridge and realized that I only have 5 weeks left staying home. I'm more than halfway done with my maternity leave. And I know that before I can blink, my babies will be three months old, I'll be donning the suits and heels once more instead of spit-up covered yoga pants and tank tops, and I doubt I'll be as thrilled with escaping my house then...happy to be back among the adult world, but missing the warm little bodies snuggling on me too.

Perhaps the hardest part for me with being stuck at home by myself with the babies for now has been missing church. Sounds silly, I know, but I really enjoy Sunday morning Bible study, worship and the sermon. My faith is important to me, and going to church each week gives me perspective and just a boost like nothing else. I wave 'bye' with envy every week as Sam and Ben head off to Calvary. I know that there are some people who say they do 'church' at home and don't need to go to a building, but there is NOTHING else quite like the fellowship and love you feel being welcomed by your church family....and no radio or TV evangelist or even your own devotions at home are as real as your pastor giving a message that touches your heart because it is exactly what you needed to hear in just the right way to feed your soul that week. I miss it so much!!!! Ah well....soon enough, our whole family will once again be able to venture out together, but for now, I will savor what time I can escape....especially on days like today...when I was able to go to the afternoon performance of Voices of Christmas at church. I was touched and inspired by the top notch production and FINALLY I feel like I'm in the Christmas spirit. What a great way to start the week. Renewed, refreshed and restored. Looking forward to celebrating the reason for the season and sharing a lifetime with my precious new family. Cheers!