The Homecoming

Nine days. And my sweet little guys are finally home with us. Yes, that's right!?! They are rockstars and blew the "2-3 weeks" out the window.

I intended to write a post all about the NICU in general as went went through it and our experience with the nurses and whole process, but before I could write it we were sent home. Not complaining!

So here it is...in retrospect:

For the sake of anyone who ever has a baby in the NICU or may be interested, just some things I feel like sharing....first off, the nurses who care for our babies are tremendous. Yes, some of them have less than pleasant personalities. Sure, some of them are a little Nazi-like when it comes to protocols (thinking here of the dictator-style nurse who told me I had to have shoes on even though I was actually still admitted to the hospital and being taken to the NICU in a wheelchair). But most, especially the good ones, are just absolutely amazing. We experienced the complete range of personalities in our nurses for the babies, but I have to say that I appreciate each and every one of them so very much. There are always things to complain about or pick at, but at the end of the day, they are supposed to care more about those babies than us! And sometimes that can rub us wrong, but again, I appreciate it. My very favorite nurse Lynette was one we had multiple times over the course of the week. Fortunately, she ended up being the nurse who discharged us and we got to know her and about her family. A testament to how awesome she is - she adopted a baby boy out of the NICU suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome even though she has teenage daughters at home. What an amazing story!

One of the most memorable (and unpleasant) things about the NICU is the constant scrutiny. You have to literally ask for permission every single time you want to see your child(ren) and that is only within the parameters of "touch time" for each baby only once every three hours. Pick up the phone, ring the desk, then they call the nurse and ask....every time. Then the scrub in. Three solid minutes of scrubbing with industrial grade soap and a scrub brush up to the elbows. Burning and itching skin for days after a few times of this. Then you walk through a maze of beeping and flashing and alarms and babies to find your bundle(s) of joy. Sometimes you see crying parents by a baby's bedside. Sometimes there are babies who seem to never get any visitors....sad. It is just overwhelming at times. So finally when you reach your baby's bedside (if and when they are allowed to be touched) you are instructed to cover with a gown and then take their temperatures, change diapers, etc. Sounds easy, except they are watching EVERY SINGLE THING you do. Then the feedings. That was probably the roughest part for us. You have these teeny tiny babies who you are desperately trying to help and they don't eat well or normally....and they are SO delicate. Ugh. They spit up and you look around hoping that no one saw. They refuse to eat anymore and you feel like you failed because you know if they do not take their "expected" feeding that is seen as a setback. AHHH. NOT FUN. We learned to ask lots of questions, especially on feeding techniques. But in the end, we just had to ignore the observing eyes and focus on caring for our babies how they taught us...waiting for the day when eventually they would be OURS. And then, all of a sudden, one day Lynette caught me in the hall with a big smile and just said....so, you ready? I said, WHAT?? That's right, we want you to go to Care By tonight. Um...okay! I about fell over. Basically that meant that the twins passed the milestones necessary to go home (full feedings, gaining weight, maintaining body temperatures, 2 hour car seat check, hearing screening, vaccines, etc). The only last remaining "test" is the Care By room. And the reality is that it is truly an evaluation of our parenting. Yikes! The standard NICU policy is that when the baby is ready to go home, they check you in to a room literally across from the NICU. They bring you the baby and you have to stay in that room for one, two, or three days and nights (however long they decide necessary). That way if you have questions, concerns, issues, the NICU nurses are across the hall. They also check vitals a few times and generally try to get you comfortable caring for the preemie by yourself. In short, it feels a whole heck of a lot like them making sure you can hack it as a parent. Not the most enjoyable experience. To top it off, the room is a square box with the worst mattress in the world and squeaky doors. Not the best environment for sleeping...for parents or babies!

One unexpected development during our NICU experience was what I like to refer to as the "crazy lady." Oh yes. (NOW, before I proceed, I know that some of my closest friends and family embrace the "attachment parenting" philosophy. In addition, I know even more people who are committed to exclusive breastfeeding and cloth diapering. I applaud them all for their decisions and respect what they have chosen. However, I do not always have the same philosophies, for various reasons. But I would hope those who know me also respect me for the decisions I have made that we feel are best for our family). I digress...as usual.... :)

So back to the crazy lady. Please don't take offense if you lean this direction.....but there was a seriously CRAZY mom we got to know through our NICU experience. She was what I like to call a tree-hugging, hippie, au naturele parent. Complete with dreadlocks, hairy armpits (no joke), all organic clothing, and yes, you guessed it, a personal vendetta against ANY and ALL people (including doctors and nurses) who tried to take care of her tiny baby (born at 29 weeks by the way) in a way that didn't jive with her philosophies. Don't get me wrong, I am ALL for exclusive breastfeeding. REALLY I am. But when the doctor tells you that your child isn't gaining weight and that they feel it is in their best interest to "fortify" your breastmilk with LESS THAN A TEASPOON of formula so that they can survive and thrive, WHY in the world would you cuss out said doctor? Again, no joke. And when you try to bring in your homemade soap to give the baby a bath or buy a pack of natural preemie diapers you purchased online from Sweden, would you not expect the NICU staff to be apprehensive about infection control, hygiene or safety? And when you would rather feed whenever you want to instead of listen to the nurses who regulate feedings in the NICU and get all the babies on the schedule immediately for their benefit....And even though she announced every single day that she was a La Leche leader and popped out the goods for her 18 month old in the waiting room about every 10 minutes (which honestly I do not mind at all), if the doctors tell you that your child has a bowel obstruction or is too unstable to hold that day, why in the world do you fight them just so YOU can breastfeed your preemie???? Even in the short time we were in the NICU waiting room and around the other families, this young mom was constantly complaining about the NICU doctors and nurses. I just did NOT understand this lady. She just very wacky. THEN, I come to find out that on her breaks from caring for her child (which she says is more important than LIFE itself and she just wants to do it HER way), she goes out to SMOKE!!! And she openly told us this...Okay...seriously? I don't get it. Pretty sure that is NOT what your tiny preemie needs when you hold him. Just sickens me. The constant F-bombs she dropped also were a little annoying...Okay, I'm done ranting. :) Just a funny example of the type of people you meet. If it is any consolation, the crazy lady's husband was extremely nice...

So sorry for the rant, people! Out of all the NICU memories, I just know I will remember this mom and her wackiness. And I will be thankful for the doctors and nurses who recommended things for our twins and since we willingly obliged they were healthy, happy and able to go home earlier. It wasn't always how I would have wanted...I didn't even get to attempt to breastfeed them until day 8, but they did great once I was able to try. I don't love pumping every 3 hours and mixing with fortifying special preemie formula instead of feeding them myself (even though they will happily eat on their own directly) just to satisfy the NICU's scrutiny of their food intake and output. And that hasn't gone away - we have to continue this pumping craziness even at home to make sure they are still gaining weight like they need to. But the reality is that we got to take them home after 9 days! We listened to the doctors, did what they said, and our babies really are better off for it. Sometimes it just isn't about what we want. Good Lord, is that not what this entire pregnancy and process has been all about?

So here I am, sitting in my living room, happy that my babies are thriving, the NICU time is just a memory and we can finally live contently as a family of 5. Thanks to the wonderful NICU, they are already on a three hour feeding schedule and basically sleep the entire rest of the time. They do great, even at night. They are eating more every time and growing exactly like they should. In fact, the twins seem to be doing even better at home, eating more each feeding and just content and peaceful.

So many things to be thankful for. Yes, the homecoming was sweet, but the best is ahead. :)