The Slowdown

"Ladies & gentleman, we're havin' babies!" This was an out of the blue proclamation by my three year old randomly while driving in St. Louis this past weekend. Granted, we had just spent about an hour at Babies R Us and he was surrounded by baby everything, but still...too funny. It is a good description of the whirlwind I feel every day.

Our days are a continuous, ongoing experience for sure. The craziness just never ends, and it seems like nothing slows down, despite my best efforts to reduce stress and "stop." Sometimes I wonder if bedrest (in general) is simply the doctor's way to force the pace of life to a crawl. (sigh!) I'm not asking for it, nor do I want it, but I DO understand sometimes why doctors must have to just make the decision for you.

Can you tell I'm a little worn out? Being honest, every day that passes I wonder how much longer physically my body will hang in there. Before anyone worries, I went to the doctor today and thankfully the babies are still doing fantastic. Growing exactly like they should be and absolutely zero evidence of scary twin-to-twin issues. No concerns. Same goes for me! Doctor commented on his own how well I was doing even in the ridiculously high summer temps we've been enduring. He noticed I was not swelling at all and commended me for taking care of myself, drinking plenty of water and not over-doing it. Whew! What a relief to hear!

The days have become a challenge though. I've been noticing a slow decline in my energy as the day goes on. From about 5am - 2pm I do pretty good, and then there's the "slowdown." It's what I like to call the gradual wearing out. :) My muscles ache, I'm terribly uncomfortable and overall just beat. Like....I could go to bed at 6pm tired and cannot fathom doing anything else.

The hard part at this point in my pregnancy is that physically I am doing great. No issues. So I want to TRY to push through, but the logical part of me knows that will only work for so long and I need to take care of myself. Thus begins the asking for help, the putting off things that I am actually motivated to do but physically just shouldn't. It is not fun, seriously. I'm trying to make myself take a time out when I first start to feel it is too much. :) But more often than not I find myself saying in my head, "just this one more thing and then I will rest." Hard to stop. I have realized the last week that I don't really have a choice. If ALL I accomplish in a day is hugging my boy, kissing my husband and making it to work and back, that should be a success for right now... We're at 15 weeks to go and counting...I need to just get used to this pace of life. Incredibly difficult. So strange to be stopping myself BEFORE I over-do it, but I am trying.

Another adjustment for me has been the decline in travel tolerance. When a 3 hour solo trip from St. Louis took 5 hours due to potty stops, tingly legs and swollen limbs, I knew it was time to turn in the travel card this pregnancy. Long road trips? Buh bye. See you again in 6 months. The heat doesn't do it, but 30 minutes in a vehicle and I am swelling. Just crazy! Thankfully my work has been incredibly patient and almost protective of me. Last week when I arrived at our Arkansas facility after a 2 hour drive and preparing for another 2 hours drive home that same day, our CEO gave me a stern look and demanded to know WHY I was there. Followed up with another lecture on how he didn't want me driving and I need to take care of myself. :) Yes, yes. Thanks to all of you who are trying to take care of me. I promise I am listening! No more Arkansas trips for me for a long while. I gotta keep these babies healthy, happy and cooking for as long as possible.

Perhaps the more interesting cause of my undeniable slowdown is the growing belly. As evidenced by the doctor's chuckling and me measuring a whopping 28 weeks today, I am just plain bigger than how far along I actually am (this picture is from last week at 20 weeks). My body feels like it is 7 months but in fact is only about 5. Doesn't sound like a lot necessarily, but it really is the difference between second and third trimesters...between carrying around the sheer weight of a 7 month pregnancy vs. a normal singleton 5 month....between being so big you feel like you are going to pop (because you are!) and realizing that in this particular case it is just an illusion...I still have quite a ways to go!!!

Whatever the reason for this slowdown, I am making an announcement to the many "mothers" in my life who are concerned about me: I am listening! It is difficult for me and seemingly impossible sometimes with a busy 3 year old, despite a great support system and a truly supportive, helpful and attentive husband. Regardless, I'm trying to give in to the slowdown...ironic for me to type this as my head is running through the long list of "stuff" I want to finish before bed tonight...grrrrrrr.

The Van

I am thrilled to report that today we turned over a major milestone on our RTWL (if you aren't up on this blog lingo that means "Richardson Twins Work List"). We are now the proud owners of a silver 2003 Honda Odyssey EX-L.

Practically speaking, we officially have a vehicle capable of shuttling around our growing brood of boys and all their current, soon to be and future "stuff." Yay! The Odyssey we ended up with has everything on our wish list for a van, with the exception of a DVD player. Small sacrifice. Plus, we can always buy an aftermarket option if we really want it. Anyway, the van is sparkly silver, very clean for a used car, all leather (heated seats which sound like torture now but will be awesome in the winter), spacious seating, power/automatic everything, and just all around in great condition. It has extremely low miles and we hope it gives us a good several years. :)

The best part about this purchase, though? It is a sign of real progress and signifies the downhill slope on the RTWL. More things finished than not. Can this be possible? It is crazy to think about, but at almost 21 weeks now, realistically we have 15 weeks left to go best case scenario. My original goal was to get the RTWL completed by the end of summer so I didn't have to stress about potentially being on bedrest or being incapable of helping decorate and "help" in the fall at the end. SO excited that we are on track with this plan of NOT procrastinating. Big thank you here to the many loved ones in my life who are putting up with my neurotic type A craziness.

A quick rundown of what is left to go: Finish sealing the deck (which granted is nearly impossible for Ben with 100+ temperatures for weeks), hang home decor items we've put off since moving into our house last October (shamelessly using these babies as an excuse to get this done so our nice things aren't just stuck in storage), caulk around the three bathtubs to insure no leaks or water damage with the many splashes sure to be coming our way, sell the tractor (any takers???) and taking care of the babies' room.

The Baby Room item on the RTWL has a lot on it, but at least that's pretty much all that is left that HAS to be finished. We need to clean all our existing and borrowed baby gear & clothes, paint the room, buy & install a ceiling fan, buy & setup baby furniture & decor, purchase another humidifier, buy 2 crib mattresses, pick up an extra mattress pad, and then get a gate for the stairs and install it. Whew. Seems like a lot, but considering the 30 items we have marked off since starting the list not too long ago, this progress is awesome!

As we successfully end the long day of van shopping in the miserable heat, I am so thankful again for the many blessings in our lives. It is incredible how things truly do work out in just the perfect way, regardless of what we "expect." Even when the tasks seem too daunting or I start to doubt that things can happen, it is awesome to see how God takes care of even the smallest details. I'm not saying that our lives are perfect. They aren't. We struggle and things are hard. We are worried and stressed and a thousand other emotions daily. But in the end, we trust that things are going to work out...one way or another...and it doesn't hurt to see God bless good common sense preparation!

The Names

People have different reasons and methods for choosing names. Most couples I know make a joint list of choices and then narrow down to the one they can both live with. (Absolutely everyone I know who has a child at some point had the "I knew someone with THAT name and I just cannot have a kid named that" discussion...hahaha). Some people choose family names/tradition, others prefer a certain ethnic heritage or literary derivative, and some like celebrity names or monikers that represent historic role models. Any way you slice it, naming a child is one of those things you don't take lightly.

Before we got married Ben made it perfectly clear that when we had kids he wanted a son named Samuel. :) I lovingly agreed and thus the story goes.

So this time I was a little more than vocal about my "right" to name this child (when I thought it really was just ONE child). However, Ben is pretty picky (how he manages this while being the most laid back person ever, I'll never know...). Regardless, I did want to choose a name that he would support and like, and I didn't want the process to get heated or frustrating for either of us....since we both tend to be a tad on the opinionated side!

Ironically, one of the things we really didn't have to stress about with this pregnancy was baby names. Despite my fear that this would turn into an agonizing process, we had our names lined up before we even knew about the twins! Yes, that's right. Something actually EASY.

Ben's family has a history of bestowing very strong, meaningful names. In his case, Ben wanted to continue that great tradition with biblical names for either a boy or girl, specifically an Old Testament first name and New Testament middle name.

At the same time, my middle name, as well as the generations of first girls before me, is Ann. I knew I wanted to incorporate that somewhere if the child was a girl.

Many many months ago (at least it SEEMS like many) I told Ben I had narrowed down the list of boy first name options I was considering for this child (keep in mind all this is before we knew about the twins)! We had about a 5 minute conversation where I pitched my ideas and he said, YES! I really like those! Success! The girl names took a bit longer because we had a harder time finding an Old Testament name we liked that worked with Ann as a middle name...and that we both agreed on. Regardless, another 5 minutes or so....pretty sure we were just driving home from work one day....and we had our narrowed down list. About this same time we found out the crazy twin news.

And thus we had our top 4, not knowing whether they'd be boys, girls or one of each.

Drumroll please....we are happy to introduce:

Baby #1 (meaning whichever one comes out first!) - Tobyn Christopher (call him Toby)

Tobyn is Hebrew and means "pleasing to God" and Christopher is Greek and means "bearer of the anointed one." Christopher is also my dad's name!

Baby #2 (last one to be born!) - Benjamin Gabriel (call him Gabe).

Benjamin is obviously Ben's name! I really fought this one because I just didn't want a husband and kid with the same name. But when we recently got a family tree and realized that there are Benjamin's going back multiple generations on the Richardson side it just made sense, as long as we could pick a middle name I liked to actually call the child! Benjamin is Hebrew and means "son of my right hand," and Gabriel is Hebrew and means "champion of God."

Short version (sorry didn't give it to you first thing!) is that our new babies are officially going to be called Toby & Gabe. Yay! Sam has already been referring to them as his brothers by name and it is just the cutest. :)

I'll admit, I am in full fledged baby-happy mode right now! (May be an indirect....or direct....result of spending only 45 minutes with a sweet 4 month old baby of my friend Anne's this week. Mmmmm....that sweet new baby smell and slobbery smiles!!!!) Things are getting marked off the list, I've started to accumulate funds to purchase their furniture and room decor, and the rest of life's craziness and uncertainties are slowly but surely straightening out and becoming more clear. Things are very very good right now and the excitement keeps building.

Now onto the first major hurdle to tackle with Toby & Gabe....how in the world are we going to tell these identical boys apart? Ben's suggestion was a tattoo....um....how about NO. After doing some research, my vote for identifying which is which after birth was nail polish on Toby's big toe ("T" for toe and Toby)....then someone said we should do green nail polish on Gabe's big toe ("G" for green and Gabe)....ahhhh...too confusing! Is it T for toe or G for toe....or Gabe? Ha.

Maybe I should just dress them in the awesome Thing 1 and Thing 2 outfits generously gifted by my wonderful boss. No need for names at all! Thank you, Dr. Seuss.

The Boys

Drumroll please.....we are having identical twin boys!!!! Yes, that's right - come Thanksgiving for sure I will be the proud mama of 3 little guys and the happy wife of another big kid. The wait is over and now the countdown is on. Here we go!

I am pumped! I love the fact that I can put these little guys in all my favorite boy outfits from Sam. I love that we can use the same toys, sports stuff, etc. It will be awesome to save money. HOWEVER, even better than that, I'm pretty excited about being the mommy to two more amazing little boys. I have to tell you that I think I may just be made for this. As Krystal told me tonight, I can whip them into shape and keep them in line. HAHA. Yes, that, but also, I'm looking forward to raising strong, awesome boys that grow into good men. AND....shhhh don't tell anyone....but I am secretly looking forward to taking some girl time for me (shopping, reading, pedicure) while all my boys pile on the couch watching football (hopefully again someday, come on NFL!!). I really think I lucked out in this deal. ;)

If you want to read all the details about the crazy, insane and slightly scary ultrasound appointment, by all means, read the non-reader's digest version below. For those of you who will inevitably stop reading when your eyes glaze over....here's the short version: Babies are healthy. I'm healthy. We are all VERY high risk and will have to endure countless ultrasounds and various appointments for the next 17 weeks, give or take. BUT - we're doing good now and will continue to take things day by day, week by week. And we will appreciate your many prayers!

Onto the long, extra long, and ridiculously detailed version reserved for those who want the real scoop:

• We go into the ultrasound appointment expecting a normal picture-taking session and lots of "awwwww's." The ultrasound tech was quick to explain that this appointment was different than most because at our 10 week original ultrasound they suspected that our twins were not only identical, but monochorionic twins. Basically this means that not only are they identical (one egg that splits) but they share one placenta. Fortunately they do have separate amniotic sacs, but as our ultrasound tech explained, their "membranes" around the sacs are very thin (about 2 layers thick instead of a less risky 4 layers thick).



• What does this really mean? Two biggest risks for the type of twins we have are: Twin-to-twin transfusion and stillbirth. Yikes. Twin-to-twin transfusion is a scary thing where one of the babies "gets all the groceries" as my doctor likes to explain. Basically this means one of the twins gets more blood, more amniotic fluid, more nutrients, etc. And the other baby suffers. The stillbirth thing is also of course scary because there is often no warning.



• Back to the ultrasound....so our actual ultrasound appointment literally took an hour! That is a really freakin' long time!!!! The "detailed" ultrasound basically means that they measured EVERYTHING on both babies. By everything I mean...length of bones in the arms and legs, feet, mouth, size and placement of internal organs, all the chambers of the heart and blood flow, circumference of everything. It was just crazy. So basically the focus was on making sure these babies are okay, and less on getting the cute pictures to show family! Kind of scary. The ultrasound tech was just wonderful. She explained exactly what she was doing every single step of the way and why.



• The boys are definitely BOYS. Honestly, I saw one of the babies' parts right away - I had a feeling they were boys and it is crazy that for once I was right!!! But yes, boys. Honestly that revelation was so soon at the beginning and there was so much information overload after that it wasn't quite the celebration I had anticipated. ;)



• After the longest ultrasound ever (complete with the tech rescuing me from blood flow restriction since I was laying on my back for so long) we were ushered into a consultation room with the Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist. He basically gave us the serious complete rundown on what we were dealing with here. We walked through all the concerns and he reassured us that these boys are growing great and doing fantastic. There is not any evidence of any problem whatsoever, but they did want us to be aware of what CAN happen and how serious they take this type of twins. So much so that they ensure safety of the babies and mother by a marathon of appointments until delivery. They want to catch any problems before they get serious (or fatal, because really all the problems that could happen are in fact already pretty serious).



• What's up next? Starting now, I go every 2 weeks for a fluid measuring ultrasound. It is a very quick ultrasound just to make sure both babies have the same amount of amniotic fluid. Every 4 weeks I have a normal ultrasound to measure growth in general. Starting at 32 weeks I will have a normal ultrasound AND a heart monitor at every weekly appointment. The heart monitor is to make sure the babies have good activity level and are still thriving. That's all with the Maternal-Fetal specialist and ultrasound department. Whew. That is in addition to my normal monthly doctor's appointments with my OBGYN. Good grief!!! Yes, I can actually hear my bank account draining....

So what do we take away from all this??????

• The crazy part was that after ALL of the "if's" the Maternal-Fetal specialist just says something like, "you are young, healthy and the babies are doing great." So....yes, we are all at high risk and I will be visiting the doctor way more than I wanted, but the reality is that we are all doing good now and that's the best news we could ask for!!!!!!



• They did take my blood pressure and it was rockin' awesome!!! 118/70. Very happy about that.



• When I asked about working and realistic expectations for a 36 week delivery, the doctor told me that unless work causes high blood pressure or contractions I am good to go for the duration (and even sometimes if those issues happen I can still work at least some). So that was reassuring considering I need to make it at work as long as possible so I can take off the full 12 weeks after....or at least close to it.



• Of course I asked about exercise, since I'm really trying to stay fit this pregnancy and not gain excess weight or swell as much as I did with Sam. He told me given my workout routine before pregnancy I can continue to do my very low intensity exercise as long as I don't start having contractions....he did follow that up with a statement that normally by 24 weeks any physical activity will cause "uterine activity." Yes, that is doctor-speak for contractions. Kind of bummed that my low impact stuff will need to be reduced to only yoga in just a month, but I will do what I can for as long as I can within these parameters.

This whole appointment was just kind of surreal. It was the "risk" preparation seriousness paired with the incredible miracle of one of the most rare phenomenons in life. The ultrasound tech described our chances of having twins, having identical twins and then having this exact type of identical twins as the "lightning strike" chance. What can we do or say in the face of all this? I mean, what other response after hearing all of this can you have than a heartfelt Thank You to God for blessing us in this way, no matter what the outcome, no matter the struggle, no matter the stress. This is truly a miracle.

(Someone please remind me of this in about 4 months when I am up all night with twin boys!!!!)

The Speculation

It started the night I found out I was pregnant. We did not tell Sam the news, but we did ask him IF he was ever a big brother would he have a baby sister or a baby brother. His response, oh prophetic one he is, was "a baby sister AND a baby brother." Um...okay then! So here we are months later and about to find out if he was indeed correct.


The week is upon us - we find out Monday whether these babies are boys, girls, or one of each. Of course as people in our lives hear about the appointment there is always speculation. It is always funny to me the kind of questions people ask. The most frequent one is, "what do you want?" I'll be honest here: There are benefits and drawbacks to any answer.


If they are both boys I will save a ton of money on clothes, considering we have about 5 bins tucked away already just waiting. We have boy toys, boy sports gear, just boy stuff in general. The logical drawback then is that I will be living in a HOUSE OF ALL BOYS. Please help me now. :) It is kind of funny to think about living with boys. Those of you know me well can see how truly entertaining this will be. I like my "kids" clean. I'm laughing as I write this, but I really do. We've so ingrained this into Sam since he was born that he actually requests wipes and holds his hands up on his way to the bathroom to wash them after eating or crafts, etc. He just doesn't really like being dirty. I love that about him. But the chances are that three boy children may be a big cleaning challenge. Okay, DEFINITELY will be a big cleaning challenge. I'm up for it, don't get me wrong. I just need to mentally prepare for this! I also kind of feel sorry for their future wives if they are boys....I'm just not the typical female they will encounter in life....and I'm totally okay with that. I am very stoic and even unemotional about a lot of things. They are going to have a hard time dealing with overly sensitive women in their future, I think!!!! On the plus side, my boys (if there really are going to be three boys!) will be raised in a house where the mom is strong and does domestic stuff but also the professional stuff too, and the general household duties are shared happily by both parents.....so maybe their future wives will enjoy that the boys share in the fun of managing a home!


Whew....so onto the girls. Oh, girls. If these babies are both girls, I may well actually cry. My wish is for these babies to be healthy, whatever gender they are. But there's something about having a sister who is my best friend and thinking about the prospect of bringing two baby girls into the world to have each other forever...it just chokes me up a bit. On the flip side, girls will be SO much more expensive in every way and I hear from my friends who have girls that they are more temperamental, sassy and just downright overwhelming at times. I don't know how well I will deal with the emotional side of having girls. I tend to think instead of feel , and while I can see how that has made me very strong, in raising girls, I can also see how it would have its drawbacks. I just have a hard time relating to volatile emotional responses to life!!! And then adding TWO at a time to that....wow.

At this point, we are operating under the assumption from the first ultrasound that the twins are identical, which would mean that they are either both boys or both girls. The ultrasound tech did say she was fairly certain, but we hope to know "for sure" at this Monday appointment. Basically, there is just one placenta and two amniotic sacs as far as they can tell. Part of me is really hoping that they are NOT identical, because there are so many serious health risks with identical twins. Either way, it is pointless to worry about. It is what God made it and we're just waiting to see what he has in store at this point!


So now onto the speculation. Pretty much everyone I know is telling me they think these babies are both girls. With Sam I did not have a feeling any way whatsoever, but honestly this time I think about the babies as "he's" - I don't know why! I just do!! Maybe it is because they are...or maybe it is because since I had Sam that's what I know and how I referred to him so it is just natural! (I will interject here though that everyone thought "boy" with Sam and they were right!) I haven't had any dreams either way and Ben doesn't have a feeling either. So now it is T minus 3 days and counting until we can stop speculating and rejoice whatever the news!


In the end the thing that matters most to me is that these babies are born healthy. Boy, girl, matters not to me at all. My true answer to the speculation when people ask my preference is that I hope for two healthy babies. I just cannot wait to hold two happy, healthy babies in my arms, breathing in their new baby smell and (yes actually) shedding a tear or two at the amazing journey we have made it through.


We keep telling Sam the twins will be here sometime before Christmas and the snow. Now let's see if Sam was right about one boy and one girl. It wouldn't be the first time he predicted big news!

The Belly

This twin preggo belly has stirred quite the controversy (warning: this post is littered with sarcasm. If you have talked to me recently and commented on my expanding midsection, I promise I didn't take offense, regardless of what you said. You have, however, joined everyone else who has a comment so your thoughts may be noted here in one general category or another. I am not upset with any of you, I promise! You just may have provided me some fun material for this picture & post)........I am 17 weeks along (picture shown is actually one week ago at 16 weeks). The crazy thing is that everyone has an opinion. "Your belly is just too small to be housing twins." "You aren't even showing!" (for real? I swear I had a figure before or did you just miss that?) ....or my personal favorite...."Look at that thing! You are going to be on bedrest before summer is over! You will never make it full term."

Let's take #1 & #2. Too small.

I compared pictures from my pregnancy with Sam 4 years ago. This is about how big I was at 23 weeks. So basically, I'm showing 6 weeks or so bigger than I actually am. Not too bad I don't think! I still have yet to gain a bunch of excess weight, thankfully. I'm sure the swelling will come in time, but I'm enjoying being obviously pregnant and feeling good! However, "small" to me doesn't really describe me right now. Maybe people are trying to be nice? (Newsflash: If my stomach is sticking out so big that I cannot see my feet and you say it doesn't look like I'm even pregnant, it kind of makes me feel like you thought I was very fat before).

On to #3. Too big.

So, please tell me. How big should I be? This one just kills me. I am having twins and scared to death that something will be wrong or I won't make it far along before I deliver or I'll have to be on bedrest. So when you tell me that you think I am too big and there's no other option but to be on bedrest here in a few weeks...it really isn't the motivator I need. Yes, it is a possibility that I will be on bedrest, but honestly that rarely is done simply because the pregnant woman is just "big." For other reasons, possibly. But not just because my babies are growing like they should. I appreciate the concern, and even the experience you all have. It is just so strange to constantly be the victim of a double-take and then immediately told I'm just not going to make it. YIKES! Not so much encouraging.

The reality is that I'm 17 weeks along and doing fantastic. I truly can say that I am totally enjoying the second trimester high. I feel great. I have energy. Most people this far along would barely be showing. But, my belly gives it away. YES. I am pregnant. With Twins. I am huge. And getting larger by the day. What did everyone expect? ;)

Coming soon: Baby Genders (find out in 2 weeks!), Names, Room Decor & List Update. My internet has been down so I'm behind on posting, but I will catch up.

The Tradeoff

Could not be happier to announce that the horrible morning-afternoon-evening-night sickness is officially on its way out! Woo hoo! I have learned a lot this week as I've felt better every single day since Sunday. Reflecting on this journey we've begun, I have come to a realization that everything is a tradeoff.

Example today: Not sick at all for a minute, but by the end of the day after traveling four hours, walking a bunch at work and then sitting in the heat at the Cardinals game, my hands and feet were swollen. I was really hoping to avoid swelling this time around or at least put it off, although I think it is inevitable. The fact is I ate too much salty food and it was just hot and muggy. I probably would have swelled anyway not being pregnant....but....it's always something. (Thankfully just not the nausea now). And for all of you worried about me, I came home, immediately drank a 44oz water and have kept my feet up for about an hour.

While at the Cardinals game with our church family I realized how ridiculously crazy it would be to manage a preschooler and two twin babies at a ballgame. I remarked to Ben that I just didn't know how we'd go to a game. He said we'd just need help. I thought to myself: You know what??? I'm not one of those people that lives in world where "nothing changes" when you have a kid. I am realistic that there will be changes, but again, it is all a tradeoff. So, we may not be able to go everywhere we do now (both financially and logistically) with all 3 kiddos for a while, but we will have some awesome movie nights at home and some great family dinners. To me, it is all a tradeoff. No, I'm not going to stop living my life, and we will still cart the kids with us where we go, but if having twins makes us slow down a little and stay home more or perhaps adjust our normal routine....I'm really okay with that. Just a tradeoff. More babies to love...and yes probably less outings as a family. But really, more family time. All in all it's good.

The funniest tradeoff I've witnessed through this week has been my own perspective and attitude. For the last 3 months I have been admittedly lazy and foggy-headed. I've been slow and cranky. In many ways I've been procrastinating. I'm not saying it wasn't warranted or necessary even. I listened to my body. When I felt tired I slept. When I had a long day and I could feel my muscles straining I didn't work out. When I just didn't feel like doing anything else after a 40 hour week I put off the laundry and the cleaning for another time. (THIS IS NOT MY NORMAL FOR ME)! I felt like I was a completely different person, putting things off for another day, not caring about my lists or staying on top of things. Yikes. Being honest here: I really didn't care. In fact, it was a nice change from my (slightly! haha) high strung, high energy, highly proactive self. I actually enjoyed just stopping and not worrying about it one bit. Blissful! That all changed this week. Every day I've seen a little more of "me" emerging. Started with baby room organization, then I typed up my long pre-babies list. This was followed by picking out baby room colors and making many more mental lists. I knew when I woke up in the middle of the night with something I needed to write on a list that my carefree procrastination was saying goodbye. And you know what? That's okay! Now that I feel like myself, I know that long term I just wouldn't be happy NOT being proactive. It's not me. And it's certainly not me who is preparing to have twins! I'm not knocking any of my friends, family....or husband....who are notoriously "guilty" of the procrastination gene. Truthfully this experience, unlike anything else ever in my life, has helped me gain a healthy perspective and even appreciation for the way they operate. But...don't worry....I'm back. Turbo Planning Carrie, here we go. You scared? :)