The Tradeoff

Could not be happier to announce that the horrible morning-afternoon-evening-night sickness is officially on its way out! Woo hoo! I have learned a lot this week as I've felt better every single day since Sunday. Reflecting on this journey we've begun, I have come to a realization that everything is a tradeoff.

Example today: Not sick at all for a minute, but by the end of the day after traveling four hours, walking a bunch at work and then sitting in the heat at the Cardinals game, my hands and feet were swollen. I was really hoping to avoid swelling this time around or at least put it off, although I think it is inevitable. The fact is I ate too much salty food and it was just hot and muggy. I probably would have swelled anyway not being pregnant....but....it's always something. (Thankfully just not the nausea now). And for all of you worried about me, I came home, immediately drank a 44oz water and have kept my feet up for about an hour.

While at the Cardinals game with our church family I realized how ridiculously crazy it would be to manage a preschooler and two twin babies at a ballgame. I remarked to Ben that I just didn't know how we'd go to a game. He said we'd just need help. I thought to myself: You know what??? I'm not one of those people that lives in world where "nothing changes" when you have a kid. I am realistic that there will be changes, but again, it is all a tradeoff. So, we may not be able to go everywhere we do now (both financially and logistically) with all 3 kiddos for a while, but we will have some awesome movie nights at home and some great family dinners. To me, it is all a tradeoff. No, I'm not going to stop living my life, and we will still cart the kids with us where we go, but if having twins makes us slow down a little and stay home more or perhaps adjust our normal routine....I'm really okay with that. Just a tradeoff. More babies to love...and yes probably less outings as a family. But really, more family time. All in all it's good.

The funniest tradeoff I've witnessed through this week has been my own perspective and attitude. For the last 3 months I have been admittedly lazy and foggy-headed. I've been slow and cranky. In many ways I've been procrastinating. I'm not saying it wasn't warranted or necessary even. I listened to my body. When I felt tired I slept. When I had a long day and I could feel my muscles straining I didn't work out. When I just didn't feel like doing anything else after a 40 hour week I put off the laundry and the cleaning for another time. (THIS IS NOT MY NORMAL FOR ME)! I felt like I was a completely different person, putting things off for another day, not caring about my lists or staying on top of things. Yikes. Being honest here: I really didn't care. In fact, it was a nice change from my (slightly! haha) high strung, high energy, highly proactive self. I actually enjoyed just stopping and not worrying about it one bit. Blissful! That all changed this week. Every day I've seen a little more of "me" emerging. Started with baby room organization, then I typed up my long pre-babies list. This was followed by picking out baby room colors and making many more mental lists. I knew when I woke up in the middle of the night with something I needed to write on a list that my carefree procrastination was saying goodbye. And you know what? That's okay! Now that I feel like myself, I know that long term I just wouldn't be happy NOT being proactive. It's not me. And it's certainly not me who is preparing to have twins! I'm not knocking any of my friends, family....or husband....who are notoriously "guilty" of the procrastination gene. Truthfully this experience, unlike anything else ever in my life, has helped me gain a healthy perspective and even appreciation for the way they operate. But...don't worry....I'm back. Turbo Planning Carrie, here we go. You scared? :)