The Slowdown

"Ladies & gentleman, we're havin' babies!" This was an out of the blue proclamation by my three year old randomly while driving in St. Louis this past weekend. Granted, we had just spent about an hour at Babies R Us and he was surrounded by baby everything, but still...too funny. It is a good description of the whirlwind I feel every day.

Our days are a continuous, ongoing experience for sure. The craziness just never ends, and it seems like nothing slows down, despite my best efforts to reduce stress and "stop." Sometimes I wonder if bedrest (in general) is simply the doctor's way to force the pace of life to a crawl. (sigh!) I'm not asking for it, nor do I want it, but I DO understand sometimes why doctors must have to just make the decision for you.

Can you tell I'm a little worn out? Being honest, every day that passes I wonder how much longer physically my body will hang in there. Before anyone worries, I went to the doctor today and thankfully the babies are still doing fantastic. Growing exactly like they should be and absolutely zero evidence of scary twin-to-twin issues. No concerns. Same goes for me! Doctor commented on his own how well I was doing even in the ridiculously high summer temps we've been enduring. He noticed I was not swelling at all and commended me for taking care of myself, drinking plenty of water and not over-doing it. Whew! What a relief to hear!

The days have become a challenge though. I've been noticing a slow decline in my energy as the day goes on. From about 5am - 2pm I do pretty good, and then there's the "slowdown." It's what I like to call the gradual wearing out. :) My muscles ache, I'm terribly uncomfortable and overall just beat. Like....I could go to bed at 6pm tired and cannot fathom doing anything else.

The hard part at this point in my pregnancy is that physically I am doing great. No issues. So I want to TRY to push through, but the logical part of me knows that will only work for so long and I need to take care of myself. Thus begins the asking for help, the putting off things that I am actually motivated to do but physically just shouldn't. It is not fun, seriously. I'm trying to make myself take a time out when I first start to feel it is too much. :) But more often than not I find myself saying in my head, "just this one more thing and then I will rest." Hard to stop. I have realized the last week that I don't really have a choice. If ALL I accomplish in a day is hugging my boy, kissing my husband and making it to work and back, that should be a success for right now... We're at 15 weeks to go and counting...I need to just get used to this pace of life. Incredibly difficult. So strange to be stopping myself BEFORE I over-do it, but I am trying.

Another adjustment for me has been the decline in travel tolerance. When a 3 hour solo trip from St. Louis took 5 hours due to potty stops, tingly legs and swollen limbs, I knew it was time to turn in the travel card this pregnancy. Long road trips? Buh bye. See you again in 6 months. The heat doesn't do it, but 30 minutes in a vehicle and I am swelling. Just crazy! Thankfully my work has been incredibly patient and almost protective of me. Last week when I arrived at our Arkansas facility after a 2 hour drive and preparing for another 2 hours drive home that same day, our CEO gave me a stern look and demanded to know WHY I was there. Followed up with another lecture on how he didn't want me driving and I need to take care of myself. :) Yes, yes. Thanks to all of you who are trying to take care of me. I promise I am listening! No more Arkansas trips for me for a long while. I gotta keep these babies healthy, happy and cooking for as long as possible.

Perhaps the more interesting cause of my undeniable slowdown is the growing belly. As evidenced by the doctor's chuckling and me measuring a whopping 28 weeks today, I am just plain bigger than how far along I actually am (this picture is from last week at 20 weeks). My body feels like it is 7 months but in fact is only about 5. Doesn't sound like a lot necessarily, but it really is the difference between second and third trimesters...between carrying around the sheer weight of a 7 month pregnancy vs. a normal singleton 5 month....between being so big you feel like you are going to pop (because you are!) and realizing that in this particular case it is just an illusion...I still have quite a ways to go!!!

Whatever the reason for this slowdown, I am making an announcement to the many "mothers" in my life who are concerned about me: I am listening! It is difficult for me and seemingly impossible sometimes with a busy 3 year old, despite a great support system and a truly supportive, helpful and attentive husband. Regardless, I'm trying to give in to the slowdown...ironic for me to type this as my head is running through the long list of "stuff" I want to finish before bed tonight...grrrrrrr.