The Oldest

Oh Sam. I was planning to wait until tomorrow after my doctor's appointment and ultrasound to write another post. I'm sure I will write one this week regardless, but I really just couldn't resist. Samuel, my three year old, is in rare form today, and I don't mean that in a good way. Just need to vent!

I am sitting in my comfy upstairs chair in our quiet house while Sam is in his room screaming at me about how he doesn't want what we are having for dinner. This fight started at breakfast and has lasted through lunch and apparently now into dinner. I am beyond frustrated and we are in a holdout/stubborn face off now. I am NOT budging. If he wants dinner he needs to come out of his room, apologize and eat what is on the table. (Yes I know he is three and I have high expectations but Sam is very smart and completely capable of understanding this AND he likes what we are having!!!) He, however, is still trying (45 minutes later!) to "convince" me with screams that he doesn't want what is on his plate. I could understand perhaps if we had crazy out of the ordinary meals today but NO. Every single thing on the menu has been something he likes...he's just being stubborn and...well...3 years old! So here we are. Me with my laptop waiting for him to come out. And him in his room yelling about the food on his plate. Sheesh.

There are a lot of things going on in our lives right now, despite my best efforts to keep things as normal and consistent as possible. I know that this is partly to blame.

He starts preschool tomorrow at a new place, and he has already told us he is worried about not having friends to play with. All of sudden he has become extremely clingy to ME (which for those of you who know my family well can attest is very odd. Sam is a DADDY's boy in every way). But regardless, the last few weeks we have had major meltdowns when I drop him off in Sunday School at Church. We're talking hysterical shrieking, having to be pried away from my leg, etc. Yikes. I know it is because I am less and less available to him. The most I can participate in "fun" things is reading him a book or working on letters/art/etc. I physically just cannot pick him or really even have him sit on my lap. Sigh. The poor guy is going through mommy withdrawals and our whole family dynamic is up in the air with preparations for the babies.

Despite all of this, I am a firm believer in raising your kids to teach them, not raising them to get what they want when they whine (even if the reason they are whining may in fact be in some way connected to life's circumstances or something they are having a hard time dealing with...that's LIFE!). So here I sit. My child is so incredibly stubborn. And so am I.

Yes, yes, I know. The real fun is only about to begin. I know he is going to regress a bit when the babies get here. I know he is going to be difficult and even more stubborn and I'm going to have to have WAY more patience and compassion. I really am not an insensitive person, but I do believe in lessons with my kid...or soon to be kids. Every few months Sam gets in this "challenge" mode and if you don't stand firm he is an absolute brat. We know it. We were due for a freak out soon anyway, so here we are. Maybe this is just good preparation for me. I can only imagine the challenges and attention-seeking behavior we will endure from my truly gifted and special firstborn.

God please help me when there are two more of these little boys. :) My only hope is that by the time the twins are three years old Samuel will be out of this stage....

And yes, this reaffirms my commitment to asking the doctor tomorrow about getting my tubes tied after my c-section. Ha!

****Breaking news. As I was posting this, Sam came out of his room, apologized and then sat down and ate his dinner....including vegetables. Apparently I am not a complete failure as a parent!!!! ;) Now we are going to make cookies together and finish our evening on a good note. Finally.