The Nap

It is amazing what an afternoon nap can do for this preggo momma.
I've been pretty sick for the last two days fighting this sinus infection...well sick since Friday but the worst of it in the last 48 hours. I made it to work Monday morning but left soon after I got my antiobiotic prescription and the official diagnosis more than just a bad cold. I came home foggy-headed and completely crashed. Took a 3 hour nap, which for me is rare. Woke up better but not great. Made it through the night pretty well and stayed home from work again today, at the request...okay more like demand...of my boss. :) Took another nap today and woke up this afternoon feeling so much better. Thank God.
I was really worried the past few days because the babies did not like me blowing my nose or sneezing all the time. :( Seems so insignificant, but at this stage in pregnancy when I'm trying NOT to go into labor it was just scary. My stomach was so tight and babies were protesting. I just keep praying, please no contractions! Monday I had some mild crampiness and felt so uncomfortable. Ugh. The naps have helped tremendously, and today the babies are moving around like crazy, my stomach is relaxed, and a full 24 hours of antibiotics in me have cleared out my head significantly. Whew. Hopefully we have made it through this hurdle.
I haven't worked out since Friday morning, which for me is a significant sign I'm not doing well. This morning I resumed my 15 minutes of yoga, and I weighed myself...here to report that at 30 weeks today I have gained exactly 30 pounds. Holy cow. I mean....not "cow" right? :) I will say that I am pleased with this. Mostly because my belly is measuring full term, and when I was that size with Sam I had gained 50 pounds! So I'm as "big" as I was with Sam but 20 pounds lighter...which really just means less swelling and that much more "baby" weight I can gain in the next 8 weeks, right?
So...back to the nap. I am excited to realize that napping is something I actually enjoy now. Maybe it is the daily exhaustion of just "being" this pregnant...perpetually 9 months. Who knows. But this is good. I have found that whether I close my eyes for 20 minutes or 3 hours, I am feeling rested when I get up. I got so frustrated when I was home with Sam in those delirious newborn days because I felt like if I didn't get deep sleep for at least 2 hours after every feeding I wasn't able to function. With twins I know sleep is going to be one of those things that is just elusive. And I know there is no way to prepare for it...and certainly no chance at getting a solid 2 hours of deep sleep at a time. So it has been encouraging to see how my body has adapted to the idea of naps, finally!!! I know that 20 minutes here or there doesn't really make up for deep sleep, but at least I'm not getting frustrated by it. I will need to treasure those 20 minutes in between baby feedings and whatnot here in just a short time, and I am just relieved to finally be a napper!
Can you believe that I am going to be home with newborn twins within 2 months!!!??? Still a little surreal. Welcome to a world of no sleeping and small naps....yay!

The Sickie

Booooo....that is what you will hear around my house this weekend... I've been fighting off a bad head cold/sinus infection for more than a week and Friday it finally got the best of me.

The last few weeks have just been rough. I should have known when I posted my "done" exclamation and looked forward to resting and not having to do much for the next few months, that something would come up. :)

My sister, who lives with us, was pretty sick for a week or so. She did a good job hibernating in the basement and cleaning up after herself, but there's only so much you can do to protect yourself from cold and sinus ickies when it is in your house. Lesson learned multiple times over in the last 3 years with a young child. Stuff just gets shared no matter how hard we try to avoid it. With April out of commission, I jumped back in to help Ben with life. He has been going, going, going every second we are home until I go to sleep really. He is such a trooper. So I've been doing less resting and more doing lately just because of life. Not a huge deal, but that additional effort taking care of my household combined with not sleeping great lately led to the inevitable weakened immunity, I am certain.

I've had a scratchy throat and runny nose for a week and thought I was avoiding succumbing to it all. I actually joked with my dad Thursday night that now April was feeling better so someone else was going to get sick because she was working all weekend and I couldn't possibly catch a break! Lo and behold, Ben woke up sick to his stomach this Friday morning and ended up coming home from work early. Then Friday afternoon I started feeling really crummy. The mild annoyance of an 'almost-cold' turned into a full fledged foggy-brained cold & sinus issue. Ben was asleep recovering so I asked April if she'd go with me to the grocery store to stock up on food for the weekend and some much-needed pregnancy safe meds to hopefully ward off anything too serious. We got home close to 6pm, and I knew I was done for.

Slept on the couch to avoid sickie Ben and awoke Saturday feeling worse. What joy! It is seriously inevitable in my life that I only get sick if & when someone else in my family is sick....leading to me pushing through and nursing everyone else back to health. Unfortunately, this time, in my very pregnant state, I have had to back off from my normal "push through" methods. Put in a movie Saturday morning and let Sam veg out while I tried to clear my head, literally. Blah. Thankfully Ben was feeling some better (he always recovers quickly, thankfully!) and was able to jump back in to help again.

Now normally a cold wouldn't bother or worry me, but a week before I had Sam, I had a very bad cold, ended up with a high fever, went to the ER....long story, but I was dehydrated and when I went into labor with Sam a few days later he was in distress due in some part to my health....so this time, I am beyond paranoid with being sick. I know all I can do is take care of myself the best I can and rest! Which is what I have been doing all weekend. Just worrisome of course. I was doing pretty well yesterday and then again later last night started feeling really badly again. Very rough night. At least once an hour I woke up blowing my nose for what seemed like an eternity and my stomach was very tight. Babies were protesting! I starting thinking, "geez, this is more of an ab workout than I've had in months!" So needless to say, I started getting worried even more that this silly cold would cause some baby/pregnancy issue.

Don't worry those of you concerned - I am still peeing every 30 minutes, so I know my added OJ, gatorade and water intake are warding off the dehydration, thank you very much. And this forced weekend of rest is probably good for me regardless.

Ben and Sam went to church without me today and I sanitized the kitchen, washed my hands thoroughly and made the best homemade chicken and dumplings ever! YUM. It was a perfect lunch to help get the sickness out the door. The warm, fresh from the oven strawberry shortcake for dessert didn't hurt too much either. ;)

Going to see my primary care doctor tomorrow just to make sure I don't need antibiotics or something, but pretty sure he will agree it is just a bad virus. Yippee. Please, babies, hang in there with me. We will get through this and have at least 6-8 more weeks of nice baking left. No contractions, no labor. That's my mantra.

At least I have lots more leftover chicken and dumplings, right? Positivity, remember. :)

The Date

It is with a smile and unbelievable shake of my head that I announce the final date. Yes, you guessed it. At my OB doctor's appointment this week they scheduled my c-section, should these babies not decide to come earlier on their own. And, drumroll please....the date is November 22. Yes, you guessed it again. Two days before Thanksgiving. Really???? I laughed at the doctor when he told me the date....and the fact that it is 38 weeks, not 36.

This whole pregnancy, the specialist and my OB have told me they don't want me to go past 36 weeks due to twin issues. But now that I'm at 29 weeks and doing beyond fantastic they are now changing their tune and want me to make it as long as possible. Blessing...right?

Two days of appointments so far this week and both were just phenomenal reports. Yesterday my ultrasound showed one baby 2lb 10oz and the other 2lb 11oz. They are within 4% of each other in growth, fluid looks great, and they are right around the 50% percentile for twins this far along. Overall amazing. It actually is getting better every week. The specialist just remarked that he keeps expecting something to show up and frankly, it's just not. At this far along, I'm doing so well they almost don't even know what to say because most people have some kind of problem. He actually postponed my baby lung development steroid shot series until my next appointment at 31 weeks because "these babies just aren't going anywhere." Good news! He seemed to think that it will be smooth sailing from here on out, judging by baby growth and many items on their "list" they check every ultrasound. Not a guarantee of course, but reassuring nonetheless.

Then today the first sentence out of my OB doctor's mouth was, "Saw your ultrasound from yesterday and your babies are doing awesome!" Good to hear. :) Heard both heartbeats, measured my belly (showing full term by the way) and then the c-section discussion. Honestly, I just couldn't believe it when he said 38 weeks. My jaw literally dropped. I was expecting the second week of November. Not the week of Thanksgiving!!

Thoughts running through my mind: #1 - I am thrilled that the doctors think these babies are doing so great that they think we can all realistically breathe a bit more and plan for a longer "cooking" time for them which is only going to benefit them that much more. #2 - I'm not so much thrilled with the prospect of being pregnant for 9 more weeks (rather than 7 which is what my end/goal date has been so far). #3 - If I make it that far, I am so going to be in the hospital on Thanksgiving Day. BOO. Yes, for sure, this will be a blessing and a huge thing to "give thanks" for, I realize this. And yes, if I really do make it that far these babies are going to be big and healthy with probably no NICU time and will be able to go home from the hospital with us - Yay what an amazing miracle that will be! But still...hospital on Thanksgiving. Who wants that? The positive side to this is that family will not have to take off as much work, etc. All good things!

So who knows! Will I make it that far? Everyone's best guess I suppose. The doctors seem to certainly think so. I went into labor 6 days early with Sam so there is always the possibility I will end up going into labor earlier and have to have the c-section early. But although selfishly that would be nice so I don't have to be pregnant so long, I'm not hoping for earlier. I am praying, as I have since the beginning, for healthy babies. :) And if that means surgery November 22 at noon and not a second before...along with a multiple day hospital stay recovering and a fun Thanksgiving celebration in my private hospital room, so be it. :)

Still single digit weeks right? Staying positive.

The Last

I think I should try to write these blog posts at 9am, when I'm fed, full, chipper and ready to take the on the world. ;) Here I am crashing at 8pm on Friday after a full work week and I'm beat, yet again! Alas, many things to celebrate regardless: We are officially at the end. Third trimester. Last, final home stretch. Everybody cheer with me!!!

I made it to 28 weeks and then blew right by it. now here we are at the end of the week and only a little more than 7 weeks to go. Geez, this time is flying by!

Super excited to have made it to my second big goal of 28 weeks. (First goal was 24 weeks). Now I'm planning and praying to make it to 32 weeks! Only a little over 3 to go now.

This week was busy and honestly, pretty rough. I failed my glucose challenge 1 hour test last week (indicator of gestational diabetes risk) and had to do the 3 hour fasting glucose tolerance test Monday morning. Ugh. I am SO not ever wanting to go through that again. Fasting was not fun. I had some yogurt at 9pm Sunday night and then didn't get to eat again until 11am Monday. Blah. I was so starving and it has made my blood sugar and appetite just messed up all week. So fortunately I was able to arrange to take the glucose test at my work instead of spending 4 hours in the waiting room at St. John's. Unfortunately, I just do not have a great track record of repeated blood draws. My veins aren't close to the surface and without a significant amount of water that day to prep, I tend to be a very hard stick. (Horrifying memories here of my IV sticks and miserable blood draws while in the hospital with Sam...uhhhh...I shudder to think about going through that again). Back to Monday: Hard to drink enough water to hydrate my veins (or whatever you call it) by 7:30am. So sure enough, hard stick. They got the first baseline draw fine, but the consecutive sticks were increasingly difficult. So much so that one time there was some painful digging (accompanied by nausea and feeling faint). They put a fan on me and gave me some water. Whew. No fun. Turns out they had to try my veins on the top of my hand to get the next two sticks and OUCH that hurts a lot. Many bruises in my vein tracks this week showing the battle. Added to this the fact that the glucose solution they have you drink made me incredibly sick. On an empty stomach and I'm not used to drinking anything sugary period. I'm a water girl, through and through. So drinking pure sugar syrup was DISGUSTING. And you cannot throw up or they have to stop the test and have you repeat it another day. UGH! But good thing I was at work - spent some time chatting with coworkers about upcoming projects and the morning passed as quickly as possible. Waited...and waited...and waited some more. And then I got the all clear finally yesterday afternoon. No gestational diabetes for me! YAHOO!!!!

Another hurdle down! Of course in place of that worry this week, I've started to have heartburn. :( Boo. With Sam I had it the last week or two of pregnancy. Really hoping this doesn't last for all 7 weeks I have left!!!!

Most fun part of being in the home stretch is the baby shower fun! Have to say I was leery of baby showers with this being my second pregnancy. I'm not a huge fan of "fanfare" specifically directed toward me. With your first baby it is all new and a shower is part of that. But I actually told friends and family this time I didn't even want a shower really because I thought it might be inappropriate being my second pregnancy. Of course then those same family and friends started telling me about how many people were asking them what they could do for these twins and asking me to do a shower so they could enjoy the fun together! Have to say - I just feel so incredibly blessed. My work shower was on Tuesday, and it was so nice. They did a diaper shower for me and I got some MUCH needed diapers, wipes and gift cards, along with some blankets and baby supplies...and the craziest, biggest, coolest diaper cake ever made! It was sweet to see everyone so excited about the twins! Made me realize how rare this is, to celebrate with other people who are equally excited....way more than even a first baby or singleton pregnancy! So so neat. :)

And I have another fun shower to look forward to Sunday with my church family and friends. The shower invitation topped my vote for the most creative and cutest theme ever. :) Love it!

So as I head to bed at 10pm on this Friday night I'm wondering how many Friday nights I have left to sit here and type without the newborns here. Wondering how many weeks I'll be able to "happily" report good news. Have more doctors appointments Monday and Tuesday this coming week, and I'm looking forward to more positive news and moving right along. Before I know it, I'll be announcing a 30 week mark and then the "last" becomes the "end" I think. ;)

One of the managers at the hospital confided to me this week that she loved being pregnant with her children both times so much that she would even consider surrogacy if her husband would approve. Good grief! I laughed and just said, "That's NOT me." While I am (still) remaining positive, I definitely am embracing that the "last" trimester also means the last pregnancy for this momma! Last weight gain during. Last weight loss challenge post baby(ies). Last heartburn. Last hormone mood swings....well pregnancy-related at least! Last tossing and turning uncomfortably at night fruitlessly trying to get some sleep. Last peeing every 30 minutes. Last huffing and puffing down the hallway. Last struggle to change the laundry or pick something up on the floor. Last stopping before I pick up my child and swing him around gleefully because I no longer can.

And yes, Last precious few weeks feeling these babies move and grow inside of me. Will I miss it? Maybe for a split second. But I know I wouldn't miss meeting these babies on their "birth" day for anything in the world. Worth every second and as long as it takes of the slightly less than pleasant lasts...

The Faith

Been a little down this week. Mostly because I have just been extremely exhausted and miserably uncomfortable. Sure, for weeks now I've had the general slowdown day after day like most pregnant women in their home stretch experience, but nothing compared to this past week. Packed work weekend last weekend so I didn't really get a break...then two days of doctors appointments, a busy work week and I was just beat.

Honestly, probably the most disappointing part of my week was "failing" the glucose challenge at the doctor's office Wednesday...

Before I get into that, let me preface this all by saying that the doctors are still absolutely encouraged by my progress and these babies' health. One twin is 2lb 2oz and the other 2lb 6oz. Less than 10% difference, which is fantastic. No twin-to-twin transfusion at all. I'm still not swelling, have gained 25 pounds which is exactly in range of what they want for me, and I'm measuring 34 weeks, again just what they hope to see. Overall, a fantastic report from the doctors. Apparently I will be able to schedule my c-section at my next appointment the week of September 19. Whew! So so soon. But I had to drink the lovely orange glucose nastiness on Wednesday and they called Thursday to let me know that I didn't make the cut. Which means I have to endure the 3 hour fasting glucose tolerance test first thing Monday. Boo. And Yuck.

Feeling like a failure a bit after that news. I have been reassured by many that I probably do NOT actually have gestational diabetes and the full test will show that, but it still is a bummer to be flagged with the possibility of it. Come ON! I do not need another thing to be anxious about, right?? And again, back to the failure. I have done everything possible this pregnancy to take care of myself. I'm eating super healthy, I don't have caffeine, I don't overdo it. I mean, seriously!!??!! I actually feel so much better this pregnancy than 4 years ago with Sam. How did this happen?

I know, I know. Simply being pregnant with twins increases my risk of gestational diabetes, no matter WHAT I eat. Apparently the double hormones just put too much stress on insulin production and the mommy just cannot keep up. Sigh! Still feeling down about it.

The entire week I was physically dragging...add that to the emotional frustration of the diabetes concern and it was a rough few days. On Thursday I got the flu shot so that only made me even more...off.

Thursday night we had a fun evening of dinner and shopping for Sam's big boy bike with his aunt & uncle, but to be honest, I was just beat. Body exhausted, mentally checked out....babies stressed, stomach tight. Eek. No good. I came home and went straight to bed, skipped my morning workout and came home from work early Friday to crash. I was really worried I had overdone it for real but thankfully I slept 10 hours overnight and am doing MUCH MUCH better today.

I woke up with energy, resumed my (very low impact) workout and started a much better day! THANK GOD. Getting my positivity a bit, thank you very much!

As Ben and I were on our way to the Labor & Delivery tour at St. John's this morning, we had a fun conversation about faith. How we cannot believe we have less than two months left and how scared I am about this gestational diabetes thing. Ben laughed a bit and said God is trying to teach us remedial faith here and we keep missing it. Back to the basics, he said. First the doctors told us no fertility treatment because risk of twins, then we got twins....then everyone has been chanting the same mantra for 6 months that we are "never" going to make it through the summer...and now here we are. Every week we fight the expectation that there will be a twin-specific problem, and so far no indications. All in all, I think Ben is right and I need to just embrace the craziness. So, maybe I have gestational diabetes. Maybe we will have other complications. But right now, it appears that God is jumping, screaming and shouting for us to just keep on keeping on...and live with FAITH that He will take care of it all, no matter the outcome. And even more so, that He will walk the road with us. When I'm tired and uncomfortable, I'm not on this journey alone. So God is apparently trying to get our attention...And do we listen? Well...usually...but then comes a week like this week and I get so buried under the anxiety and fear...it amazes me how easy it is to forget.

So...no matter the outcome with the full glucose test Monday...and no matter how many times I have to stop, lay down and just rest because I physically just cannot do anything...no matter WHAT pops up in the next 8 weeks, I am committing to embrace the "end" with positivity.

When it seems like I cannot possibly make it 8 weeks, let alone another day...I need to remember the lesson in remedial faith. And keep on keeping on.

The Weekend

We made it! Yes, that's right. Made it to September. Single digit weeks to go....and the LAST (praise Jesus) major project To Do list weekend done, finis, checked off and completed. (See pictures for latest update - the BABIES ROOM!!)

I had to completely revise my RTWL (Richardson Twins Work List) on Friday night to prepare for the weekend because I realized almost everything was already crossed off! Instead of pages and pages of house projects and serious To Do's before babies, it now contains a page of baby room random miscellaneous stuff (which was just one LINE of the original 3-pager) and another page of delivery/hospital prep. What a difference from several months ago when it seemed like every single weekend we were tackling big and expensive projects! Even with this updated list, we crossed off so many things over the weekend I cannot even tell you all how thrilled this makes me.

I intended to title this post something like "The Nonprocrastinating" (which by the way is not a real word) or "The Planning" or something equally relevant, but the truth is it was just a LONG, but extremely productive, weekend after a LONG, but equally productive, work week. And I am exhausted!






If you have been following this journey, and if you know me, you are acutely aware of my dedication (oh okay, obsession) with NON-procrastination. I am a planner like nobody's business. Lists are my guide and I feel marvelous crossing stuff off. I am the person who gets every aspect of an event planned days in advance just in case something happens at the last minute. I'm the person who, especially with my job, likes to set deadlines a week ahead of the "real" due date just so NOTHING can get in the way of meeting the goal. Yes, yes, I know. I am a freak. Being a planner enables me to stress less. I am a methodical and organized thinker, and I just like chugging away at a goal without the last minute, insane, stressful and frustrating down to the wire nonsense. YES, I agree...stuff ALWAYS comes up last minute anyway, but I've found that showing up with everything I can possibly prepare for under wraps, it is a heck of a lot easier to deal with the unexpected. Equaling...less stress. For me. For everyone.

So, as you can imagine, when I set my RTWL completion goal back in May, I purposely planned to finish by the end of the summer. I wanted to be "done" as much as I possibly could be. In case I had to go on bedrest. In case I had to go in the hospital or there was an issue. Or geez, in case I was just too plain tired to move...in short: I wanted to be finished with the long list of To Do's before I got too big to help and too far along to risk the babies coming early and something not getting done. And yes, I knew full well this would leave me with a good 2 months of....well...being DONE! Which means two months of spending precious time with my family instead of working all weekend. And two months of resting more to help prevent third trimester twin issues. And two months of NOT stressing about preparations and enjoying the babies about to arrive.


Elated would describe my thoughts this evening. It is Monday night, Labor Day, what I could call the end of the "summer," and we are done. Yes, done. Done with the original To Do list. Done with baby room painting and preparation. Done with home decor hanging around the rest of the house. Done with baby gear assembly and vehicle cleaning. Done with house fixer upper projects. Just plain done. With 9 weeks to spare. You are thinking I am ridiculous, I realize this. We have spent a good many of our treasured summer weekends outright attacking this RTWL (with the generous and much appreciated help of family). But now, we are done. Sure, we have the revised baby prep items still on the list..like sterilize the feeding stuff, purchase things on our random needs list like a humidifier, pack a hospital bag, and put pictures in frames...but the reality is that IF the babies came tomorrow (and yes, they would be in the NICU for a long time so I do not wish for this to happen) but IF they did, we would be good and ready. Amazing!

This is all compounded by the fact that Friday I officially had my work "maternity leave meeting." That's right - I spent bits and pieces of days for several weeks before writing out every random aspect to my job that may come up and what to do about it. These are the things you cannot really teach someone by working side-by-side. They aren't things that are technically duties on my job description at work. These are the sporadic pop ups that I just take care of. They have never been written down, not even necessarily talked about. I just generally take care of it and move on in the course of my day....for five years. All well and good until you think about me leaving work for 12 weeks...in more scary terms...3 WHOLE months. My awesome employee is going to do a fantastic job in my absence, but the task of getting inside my head and figuring out how to handle a seriously random situation can be daunting I know. Especially given that most of this stuff was just knowledge in my head. So.....I wrote it down. Typed it out and held a meeting Friday morning to go over every word in the 4 page (double sided) document. May seem (again) ridiculous that I would spend time on that AND make sure it, too, was finished by the end of the summer, but I just didn't want to be a burden on my staff or my work in case I just have to be gone all of sudden. Even if I can keep working (as planned!) for another 7 weeks or so, I just wanted to make sure there was a peace about things in our office. Yes, I am leaving for a long time to care for these twins, but I don't want anyone to feel like I dumped on them by leaving. Nor do I want them to have to worry about the "what do I do if???" questions. I managed to get my files in order and my desk clutter-free as well. The weight lifted off my shoulders when I left work Friday afternoon was tremendous. Another win for preparation!

So now what? Haha. Seriously. Now WHAT? What do I do with my time? What do I do without a monstrous, weighty, and neverending mountain to hurdle? I know. I rest. :) I plug away at work for as long as I physically can. I play Toy Story with my child and watch Top Gear or Million Dollar Homes with my husband and enjoy the precious FEW weeks we have left as a family of three. I'm getting teary (seriously!) just thinking about how soon it will be here. And I am so VERY thankful that this weekend marks the end of the work. Now, let's all get ready for some FUN! Because really, what else do you call twin boys...but fun?!?! :)

(Post confession: I had to add this after posting. I read the post out loud to Ben like I usually do and ended up choking up at the last paragraph. Just another insight into me. I haven't cried ONE TIME during this pregnancy, hormones and all. But I seriously shed tears of joy over being prepared and meeting my goal. I am a FREAK! At least a happy pregnany one though... right?)