The Belly

This twin preggo belly has stirred quite the controversy (warning: this post is littered with sarcasm. If you have talked to me recently and commented on my expanding midsection, I promise I didn't take offense, regardless of what you said. You have, however, joined everyone else who has a comment so your thoughts may be noted here in one general category or another. I am not upset with any of you, I promise! You just may have provided me some fun material for this picture & post)........I am 17 weeks along (picture shown is actually one week ago at 16 weeks). The crazy thing is that everyone has an opinion. "Your belly is just too small to be housing twins." "You aren't even showing!" (for real? I swear I had a figure before or did you just miss that?) ....or my personal favorite...."Look at that thing! You are going to be on bedrest before summer is over! You will never make it full term."

Let's take #1 & #2. Too small.

I compared pictures from my pregnancy with Sam 4 years ago. This is about how big I was at 23 weeks. So basically, I'm showing 6 weeks or so bigger than I actually am. Not too bad I don't think! I still have yet to gain a bunch of excess weight, thankfully. I'm sure the swelling will come in time, but I'm enjoying being obviously pregnant and feeling good! However, "small" to me doesn't really describe me right now. Maybe people are trying to be nice? (Newsflash: If my stomach is sticking out so big that I cannot see my feet and you say it doesn't look like I'm even pregnant, it kind of makes me feel like you thought I was very fat before).

On to #3. Too big.

So, please tell me. How big should I be? This one just kills me. I am having twins and scared to death that something will be wrong or I won't make it far along before I deliver or I'll have to be on bedrest. So when you tell me that you think I am too big and there's no other option but to be on bedrest here in a few weeks...it really isn't the motivator I need. Yes, it is a possibility that I will be on bedrest, but honestly that rarely is done simply because the pregnant woman is just "big." For other reasons, possibly. But not just because my babies are growing like they should. I appreciate the concern, and even the experience you all have. It is just so strange to constantly be the victim of a double-take and then immediately told I'm just not going to make it. YIKES! Not so much encouraging.

The reality is that I'm 17 weeks along and doing fantastic. I truly can say that I am totally enjoying the second trimester high. I feel great. I have energy. Most people this far along would barely be showing. But, my belly gives it away. YES. I am pregnant. With Twins. I am huge. And getting larger by the day. What did everyone expect? ;)

Coming soon: Baby Genders (find out in 2 weeks!), Names, Room Decor & List Update. My internet has been down so I'm behind on posting, but I will catch up.

The Tradeoff

Could not be happier to announce that the horrible morning-afternoon-evening-night sickness is officially on its way out! Woo hoo! I have learned a lot this week as I've felt better every single day since Sunday. Reflecting on this journey we've begun, I have come to a realization that everything is a tradeoff.

Example today: Not sick at all for a minute, but by the end of the day after traveling four hours, walking a bunch at work and then sitting in the heat at the Cardinals game, my hands and feet were swollen. I was really hoping to avoid swelling this time around or at least put it off, although I think it is inevitable. The fact is I ate too much salty food and it was just hot and muggy. I probably would have swelled anyway not being pregnant....but....it's always something. (Thankfully just not the nausea now). And for all of you worried about me, I came home, immediately drank a 44oz water and have kept my feet up for about an hour.

While at the Cardinals game with our church family I realized how ridiculously crazy it would be to manage a preschooler and two twin babies at a ballgame. I remarked to Ben that I just didn't know how we'd go to a game. He said we'd just need help. I thought to myself: You know what??? I'm not one of those people that lives in world where "nothing changes" when you have a kid. I am realistic that there will be changes, but again, it is all a tradeoff. So, we may not be able to go everywhere we do now (both financially and logistically) with all 3 kiddos for a while, but we will have some awesome movie nights at home and some great family dinners. To me, it is all a tradeoff. No, I'm not going to stop living my life, and we will still cart the kids with us where we go, but if having twins makes us slow down a little and stay home more or perhaps adjust our normal routine....I'm really okay with that. Just a tradeoff. More babies to love...and yes probably less outings as a family. But really, more family time. All in all it's good.

The funniest tradeoff I've witnessed through this week has been my own perspective and attitude. For the last 3 months I have been admittedly lazy and foggy-headed. I've been slow and cranky. In many ways I've been procrastinating. I'm not saying it wasn't warranted or necessary even. I listened to my body. When I felt tired I slept. When I had a long day and I could feel my muscles straining I didn't work out. When I just didn't feel like doing anything else after a 40 hour week I put off the laundry and the cleaning for another time. (THIS IS NOT MY NORMAL FOR ME)! I felt like I was a completely different person, putting things off for another day, not caring about my lists or staying on top of things. Yikes. Being honest here: I really didn't care. In fact, it was a nice change from my (slightly! haha) high strung, high energy, highly proactive self. I actually enjoyed just stopping and not worrying about it one bit. Blissful! That all changed this week. Every day I've seen a little more of "me" emerging. Started with baby room organization, then I typed up my long pre-babies list. This was followed by picking out baby room colors and making many more mental lists. I knew when I woke up in the middle of the night with something I needed to write on a list that my carefree procrastination was saying goodbye. And you know what? That's okay! Now that I feel like myself, I know that long term I just wouldn't be happy NOT being proactive. It's not me. And it's certainly not me who is preparing to have twins! I'm not knocking any of my friends, family....or husband....who are notoriously "guilty" of the procrastination gene. Truthfully this experience, unlike anything else ever in my life, has helped me gain a healthy perspective and even appreciation for the way they operate. But...don't worry....I'm back. Turbo Planning Carrie, here we go. You scared? :)